Every Day is a New Day For Sure!

It has been a while because my little precious angel that was sleeping so much...stopped sleeping so much :)  And every day there is a new way to help her sleep/stop her fussing.  Every day is different, everyone said it, but now I realize it is literally every day.  One day doing lil jumps while holding her rushes her fast to sleep, other days the black silence I swore I would not succumb to is the only way!  Some days she loves snoop dogg/lion (yes the curse word versions, sorry.) and others she screams at any music at all.  Some days she sleeps the entire day, others she is up the entire day.  Some days I get laundry, shopping lists, floor cleaning AND amazon prime damage done all in one day!  Other days I am chained to her and the thought of putting her down and risking a screaming fit builds my bicepts if nothing else.  Some days she peacefully sleeps for two hours on my stomach, hers face down, as I Pinterest my dream kitchen.  Others she has to be held face forward staring out the window, staring at trees.  Some days I want to tap dance around the world with joy and some days (luckily only one so far!) I cry over my spaghetti and meatballs.

But with all of this chaos and uncertainty comes coos, smiles and even sporadic giggles!  With this comes knowing this is the time to want her to need me so much, want her to not let me put her down. In a few years it will be hard to get her to stay curled up with me at all!   With all of this comes watching her get more beautiful every day.  I don't know if it is just because I am her mama, but I seriously think she can't get any more beautiful and then she does!  With the ignoring laundry, one hand dusting, vacuuming and missing Real Housewives episodes live, comes staring at her face while she sleeps, on the verge of happy tears.  With having to plan routine Target runs or just an margarita escape with a girlfriend, comes loving being home with my family.  Treasuring the time we have together more than ever, even if it is watching an old ass episode of Mad Men while shoving food down our throats as fast as possible.  With the sometimes exhausting days, comes the pure joy I feel when I am able to take a nice hot shower bubbled up with strawberry scented shower gel, washing away the formula that somehow is on my collar bone.  And my hand, and is that poop on my stomach?  And when I come out of that paradise shower, seeing her little face staring at me wiggles my heart.  With missing part of myself sometimes, comes missing her when she is sleeping, or on that Target run that I sneak in the dark red lipstick I barely wear anymore, knowing I will wear it out on the town soon enough, right?  So excited to get out of the house, only an hour later, rushing to get back so I can kiss her chubby cheeks.  People told me how wonderful parenthood was, but like they said, there are no words.  I was not fully me until she was brought into our lives.  There are many things I am besides a wife and mother, and many hobbies and future careers I have/hope to have, but her and her daddy are the best part of me by far.  I do not shine as bright without them.

Finally at the place I dreamed about months ago, staring at your face, knowing you are ours forever.
Bumpless Baby Mama