Down to the OCD Wire and I Surrender to You, Excitement!!!

The past week has been interesting.  Stress has taken over my body and me no likeeeyyyy!  I have had a very tough time falling asleep which is SO not me...ever!  I was always a night owl but even when I am a little stressed, I have always passed right into never never land as soon as my head hit the pillow.  Now I lay restless, running through my to do list, worrying if the birthparents will change their minds (despite the fact I believe whatever happens will turn out fine, I will still weep like a baby), and wishing I had the metabolism I used to so I could stuff my face with Wendy's nuggets sopped in BBQ sauce, a dozen pink sprinkled donuts and maybe throw in some mouth watering KFC chicken while we are at it.

 or ten.

Instead, I am trying to work out, take baths and listen to weird sounds like automated hyper summer crickets, as I dig my head into my crumpled fluff of a pillow, hoping it will take me to a restful place until I face my alarm clock in the morning.  The working out part is a joke.  I have a stationary bike I decided to 'ride' yesterday while I caught up on Real Housewives of NYC.  WOAH...I was winded after 15 minutes!  And my hip hurts today.  There, I said it.  Granny's hip hurts.  So my plan is to work out EVERY day, not too intense every day, but at least stretch or do some down dog type shiz on days in between my dance videos and bike.  Yes, dance videos like in 1984.  Except now they are on demand.  And you can pause that lil b when she gets too crazy on you, it's great.

My OCD like tendancies have taken over and I keep 'redoing' things in the nursery.  Or thinking of things I'd like to add.  One fine addition is gold polka dots on an accent wall (not shown).  Here is my poor husband who, since he is the math man in the fam,  grid out the placement of where they will go.  This was not a 20 minute project, I will say that!  Don't worry, I didn't leave him all alone on this tedious journey.  I stayed to direct.

 See how many lovely uses the ol Post-Its have? 

 I am waiting on new curtains as well.  I found some pink ruffly ones.  I was not going to purchase gender specific items until everything was finalized.  But I am me.  And I just couldn't contain myself and feel like we deserve to pink dazzle up the nursery just like others do!  I realized if everything falls through, spending 20 bucks on a curtain (that I could exchange within 90 days) or a lamp (again, 90 day exchange policy), wouldn't make me any more disappointed then I will be if it ends up that way.  It was getting too hard to be so cautious and try not to get excited.  So as more stress comes, it is balanced out by the excitement that is officially settled, cuddled up on a cozy couch nestled in my body.  I am excited and I am going to let myself be excited.  I know the risks, but I want to feel this like everyone else gets to as they near the end of their pregnancy (excitement and back pain, of which somehow I have both).

I can't feel you in my belly, but I definitely feel you in my heart <3
Bumpless Baby Mama