We Are Not Broken.

"Why are you adopting?" I have gotten this question before.  And I usually answer that I have always considered adoption, just something I have thought about doing and then if it is someone I feel like telling (or my blog ;)), I go further into saying I had a procedure that left me in the high risk pregnancy category, so it all worked out nicely.  Today, my answer changed.  Only because of how the woman asked.  It was a woman who used to do my nails. I never did mention I was adopting, so the first question seemed natural out of her mouth, "Hi!!!  When are you going to have a baby?"  I said, "Actually in about a month."  She looked down and I interrupted her confused stare, "We are adopting."  I don't remember the exact order of the next sentences, but something like this...She said, "WHY!? " I said, "Because I am."  She said, "WHY?  Why don't you have your own baby!?"  The way in which she was asking seemed as though she was very confused why anyone would adopt.  She seemed insistent on knowing why I was doing such a thing, and then she said, "You should have your own baby!" So out it came, "Because I don't want my baby to look like me."  I have no idea where it came from, just my sarcasm at its finest, better that than what I would have said 10 years ago to her.  But my friend laughed at my 'christylike' comment, and nail lady continued, "No REALLY?  Is she joking??"  I said, "No, I am adopting."  She asked "Why?" one more time before I pointed to my belly and said, "Because I am broken."  She laughed and pointed at me as we walked away,.  I have no idea what was going on in her mind.  I tried to chalk it up to language barrier.  But I have had long conversations with this women while prettying up my feet for an hour, and she speaks and seems to understand just fine. 

I do not look really at myself as being broken.  But it is way too hard to explain to someone on your way out of a restaurant, that is yelling across the street at you asking why you are adopting and telling you that you should have your own child.  But I will say I am mad at myself.  I am mad at myself for even joking saying I am broken because I know that me and all the women who may not be able to, or are high risk to have children biologically, are far from broken.  God's plans are never broken.  Since I was a child, I have lived by the quote, "What is meant to be will be."  Maybe that is on a more religious level now, but I always have and always will believe that.  I am sorry for saying that even as a joke.  I am going to go back to her when I am there next time and tell her the truth.  "I am adopting because God loves a child so much and us so much that he wants to put us together in this crazy life."

The only thing broken about me is not having you yet,
Bumpless Baby Mama