Why We Chose Domestic Adoption vs. International Adoption

Inquiring minds want to know, so we shall tell!  I forget if I touched on this at all, but one of the very first steps of the adoption process is choosing domestic or international.  It is very common these days to go international, and I understand why.  After we weighed our pros and cons, we came to the decision to stay within the US while adopting.  Our main reason was adoption is already a tough/long process, and adding the layer of dealing with other country's laws scared us.  There are so many countries to choose from, and it seemed hard enough just trying to narrow down agencies within the US, so I can't imagine the time and research to just FIND which country we wanted to pick and researching all of their laws.  The US laws minorly (is that a word?  Probably not since it is highlighted in red) change from state to state, but we know the language here and felt safer staying within our own country's legal system.  And I have a family full of lawyers that study law in the US if anything went crayyy they could create a football team of Irish defenders a la bumpless baby mama, so that made me feel safer as well.  The other aspect we weren't keen on was time and money traveling to another country.  Some countries make you travel there multiple times, some make you stay for an extended period of time before you can take baby home, and the hubs can't exactly be off work for who knows how long.  Here is a chart from adoptivefamilies.com that also shows a cost comparison.

Speaking of lonnnng!  Depending on the country, the process can take YEARS and mama and papa wanted their lil bean as soon as possible.  Part of our agency research included finding placements that were mostly within a year.  We lucked out and got placed in less than 2 months, but that was an insane miracle.  Wait...was it luck or a miracle, bumbless?  Baby brain rears its ugly head.  Another reason we chose domestic, is we did think it would be good for our bean to know about their parent/s.    From what we have heard, some countries have totally closed adoptions, no information on the parents.  In the beginning we did not intend on having an open adoption further than pictures and letters, but after extensive late night book reading and discussing open adoption with others in the adoption world who have it, we decided it was the best choice to do a visit a year.  For those of you cringing, I get it, I did, too.  I was dead against it, but knowledge is power.  So says that cheesy 90's commercial.  If you'd like to read about benefits of open adoption...read this lil blurb that I did not write, but it's a good summary.  (advantages for all 3 parties involved) http://americanpregnancy.org/adoption/openadoptionadvantages.htm

A big reason people go out of the country is because there is no revocation period like here in the US (where birthmothers can change their mind.)  I get it, it seems silly to some people that anyone would risk taking home a child to possibly have them taken back after 2-30 days.  And the 10 days we went through were nail biting, anxiety ridden hell, I will not lie.  But we went in knowing it could happen, had faith whatever happened would be God's plan, and hoped the 20% chance the adoption would 'fail', was not the percentile we were in.   I felt like there is always a chance of miscarriage, SIDS, really anything in life, and this is just one of those things that are a risk, and in my opinion, worth the risk.  Would I have devastated if it fell through?  Absolutely.  But for whatever reason our heads and hearts felt called to adopting domestically.  It is not for everyone, but there is no such thing as 'everyone.'  There are children right here in our own country that need good homes, and from the moment lil bean was placed in our arms I felt like God had lined everything up right so we could be a family.  I was scared shizzless I was wrong, but turns out I am right, and I am SO very glad our perfect match was right here in our own country.  And on top of it our own STATE, which we did NOT plan.  God knows what he is doing, and whatever his reasons, I will never question him.  OK, I probably will, but not today :)

There are more pros and cons but mama is freakin tired and needs to feed herself.  As always, if you have questions, feel free to ask me!

God Bless America, as they both brought me straight to you,
Bumpless Baby Mama