HOLY GRIPE WATER!

So, when Cora was around 5 weeks she went through what I call "Demon Baby Week."  There is a whole book and website on these weeks of a baby's life called, "The Wonder Weeks", which is pretty informative and generally accurate.  I keep a chart on my fridge that shows these weeks so when fire starts shooting out of Cora's eyes I can look up at it and be comforted that she is merely going through either physical growth spurts or mental growth spurts.  These come with extra neediness, crying that makes you think they have fire ants in their pants, and usually excessive eating.  You are instructed to hold the lil demon baby more, feed them more and of course, through my research, gripe watering the crap out of her.  Gripe Water, for those who don't know, is a natural remedy for babies w colic, gas, etc.  I think it has a tranquilizer in it and nobody is telling us.

I originally got it thinking maybe she had some gas.  And ya know, I have no idea what it is this time...the last week she has been on and off insane.  Quite bipolar, actually.  It fluctuates from sheer joy like Christmas morning to me right before my period, when my own demon eyes shoot fire.  Two nights ago I said, YA KNOW, let's give this ol Gripe Water another go.  Within 5 minutes of feeding the flip floppy, anxiety ridden child of mine, she was relaxed, staring at her hands as if she had taken a few hits from a bong, and passed out.  Light shone upon her from Heaven and I laid on the couch and wished Gripe Water could work on me like that.  Hmm, maybe I will try it.

Last night, lil screecher was up to her frets again.  I ran over to my favorite little syringe and shot that baby full of gripey goodness.  Again, within minutes, down like a hypnotized audience member.  Today was the most glorious of all.  Sidenote, you CAN give this to your baby every 6 hours, but I don't want to do it unless really needed, which is usually at night.  But this morning, sugar baby wanted SO badly to go to sleep.  You know, when are crying with their puffy lil red eyes closed, desperately fighting, but we all know they wanna go be in la la land just like mama.  I ran over to ol faithful, filled it up with the special juice and....by the time I finished emptying that deliciousness into her mouth, she was fast asleep.

Some of you may look up to a president, an inventor, a great business man, or maybe even Oprah.  I look up to the creator of Gripe Water.  Wherever you are, know you are my hero.  You have made both baby and mama look like this.