Well hello! I have come out of the snow to bring you some information I hope you find useful. I wish I had gathered this earlier on ! Probably only useful to those #adopting, but HEY, maybe you just like to learn :) In adoption, after the child is born, there are a few things to consider (besides which of your arms to sell to afford it!) when choosing an agency or a state in which you will be adopting the child from. We are dealing with 6 states, so our laws are going to vary depending on where we end up finding our future bean! Different states have different laws for the following: (detailed Adoption state law document linked at bottom of this post. This is the most updated document I found, do not take this document as fact, as some state laws may have changed, but it is a good starting place to give an idea of how many variables there are from state to state.)
ConsentPeriod- not sure if this really has a name, but this is the time given, depending on state, that the birthmother has to sign the papers. I imagine this is the most emotional time for everyone. Imagine being the birthmother/birthfather, sitting with the pen, making this selfless decision to do what is best for her/their child, and on our side, being prepared to take a child home and possibly going home empty handed because the birth other has changed her mind. In some states they CAN NOT sign until 48-72 hours, others they can sign right away, but are given a time limit, which leads us to...
Revocation Period - period of time that varies from state to state after child is born that the birth parent (s) can change their mind. Depending on state the birthparents may have 10, 15, 30 days to change their mind. From what I have read this is somewhat rare, but can happen. This is most domestic adoption adoptive parents' biggest fear. I will add there are extremely rare cases where a birthparent comes
back after the revocation period to fight back for their child and it goes to court. From what I have read, the adoptive parents usually win, but I will
do a post on this as I find more information/facts. There is a possibility you can take a child home (for up to 30 days in some states) and have to return them after getting attached, etc. So, some agencies have what is called 'cradle care' for those who do not want to take the child home until the revocation period is over, or if they feel a bithtparent is wishy washy about their decision. We struggled with this, as there are perks to both taking the child home right away and choosing cradle care. That can be a later post, too.
What birthparent expenses can be paid- These are costs covered by someone besides the birthparents. This can vary from medical and legal, to rent, to everything, including donuts and maternity wear for the birthmama! There have been known scammers, that get pregnant knowing they are going to have the baby but submit themselves to an agency or adoptive parents, then get the care they need, then 'change their mind'. I assume there is not always proof that they have done this, but it is punishable by law. I would totally take my donut back. Luckily these cases are quite rare.
Can Adopters Advertise for birth parents? Pretty straight forward, but in some states it is ok to advertise yourself to find a birth parent, whereas in others you may have to go through an attorney or agency/facilitator. In our case, we have created our lovely pink and green adoption profile book that the birthparents will view through the agency. Advertising yourself definitely feels weird, but also makes you like "WOW we are kinda cool." Especially the hubs strummin on those guitar strings with that cool rockstar face! I mean who wouldn't want HIM as their child's dad!
Can Out of State residents finalize an adoption? This varies a lot, again. In some states, yes, some no, and some grey areas (Yes, but only through an agency; Yes, if child is a resident of state, or Only with a 'hard to place' child). I don't know as much about this as other topics because my brain can only hold so much information. Where was I?
The ICPC is a contract between states
authorizing them to work together to make sure that children being adopted (or put into foster care)
across state lines get the
protection they need. This will determine how long the adoptive parents and child stay in another state (if you go outside your own state) after the child is born. This means most of us interstate adopting peeps will be spending our first days with our newborn in a hotel (unless you do cradle care). The average time is 7-10 days. Stick that fun feather in your hat.
Putative Father Registry is a state level option for
unmarried males to document through a notary public any woman they have had intercourse with to make sure they have rights related to any future child that that/those women may give birth to. They are basically not guaranteed any rights other than being notified and of course the right to testify in court what they think is best for the child. This is something that can hold up the adoption process, because if a birth father comes forward, they have up to 30 days to be notified and can claim their rights which can lead to court appearances, etc. If the father is known/signs paper this is a moot point. From my latest research, there are 17 states that DO NOT have putative father registries (Alaska, California, Colorado, Connecticut, Hawaii, Kentucky, Maine,
Maryland, Mississippi, Nevada, New Jersey, North Carolina, North Dakota,
Rhode Island, South Dakota, Washington, West Virginia & American Samoa, District of Columbia, Guam, Northern Mariana Islands, Puerto Rico, Virgin Islands).
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Here is the link to the most recent state law document I know of. Again, contact your state or states you are interested in adopting for exact updated information. This is merely a reference.
http://www.theadoptionguide.com/files/StateAdoptionLaws.pdf
Wondering why we picked an out of state agency as my eyes bleed, what state will lil bean come from?!
Bumpless Baby Mama
#adoptionConsentPeriod
#adoptionrevocationperiod
#birthmotherexpenses
#adoptionadvertising
#outofstateadoption
#ICPC
#adoptionICPC
#PutativeFatherRegistry
#domesticadoption
#stateadoptionlaws
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