Will My Adopted Child Look Like Me?

A weird question, isn't it?!  And if you are adopting an entirely different race, then the odds are less, but still can happen.  Oddly enough, through my ears bleeding while  I spoke to about 63,943,279 adoptive parents in my research for this exciting journey, SO MANY of them that say their adopted child, or in some cases, children look like them?!  Sounds very odd, right?  Or possibly sounds like they are just trying to see themselves in their children?  One woman told me (over the phone, I had not met her), "You would not believe the resemblance, our son is a spitting image of my husband!"  I am thinkin, sure lady.  And I look like J-Lo.  She was one of the first to have told me about an adoptive parent/child resemblance.  Then she went on, "They have the same shade red, curly hair and bright blue eyes!"  OK, now this was getting weird.  Red hair is not the most common feature, and neither is curly.  And blue glowstick eyes?!  My dad had those and I didn't even get those icy blues passed onto me biologically!  But as I talked to more people, I heard more of these stories.  People commenting on what a spittin' image Lil Sally was of her mama, or Lil Billy was of his papa!  Will our future lil bean resemble us?  Seems possible, even if it is a small resemblance. Hopefully they will unbiologically take after the hubs. 

Pretty cool stuff.  But why?  Of course, some facial expressions or mannerisms will be learned, so that can make a general "You look like your bumplessmama!"  But the specific passed on physical features made me think.  Maybe it is just because we tend to be drawn toward familiarities in people, whether it be physical features, a familiar type of voice, or mannerisms.  I was drawn to my bff because she looks like Marilyn Manson, and she me because I look like Brett Michaels.  Don't look too close, you may actually see the resemblance.

OK, stop looking. It was a joke.  Sort of.  Not really. Anyway, I can not tell you how many of my friends are similar in features.  I will be drawn to a friend early on, and then realize months later they remind me of another friend.  I was friends with Sam for months before I realized she had my other friends' eyes and freckles, and ability to drink wine as fast as me!  Two of my friends have a similar inflection in their voices.  It is similar to when my mom used to scream at me when I was being a bad lil bean, so clearly I was drawn to them, frequently asking for hugs.   The adoptive parents I spoke to that said they had child/parent similarities all had something in common in their adoption.  They were picked through a profile book. 

That means a birthmother sifted through multiple books and chose them.  Maybe they had features that reminded them of their own family?  Maybe the bumpless mama's eyes looked familiar, without the birthmom even knowing?!  Maybe she recognized a thin lipped smirk in adoptive papa because her father had the same smile.  And maybe these familiarities are passed onto the child, leading to lool-alikes?! 


Here's to you, future lil Brett.  You will look great in leopard print, too!
Bumpless Baby Mama