Serious Sally the Social Worker Doesn't Like Chocolate.

OK her name isn't Sally, but it should be.

Since we went with a different #adoptionagency than the one that did our home study, they have to do a home study review.  In our case that included doing our state background check again.  OHHH FUN!  Let's do all it over again and pay twice!  Also included in this review is our local social worker coming to check our house again.  I thought we already did this?  Did we start a methlab since the last agency came a couple months ago?  So, she came yesterday, checked out our digs and piled our kitchen table with yet another stack of paperwork.  Hmm, you guys look familiar, can't I just copy the ones from the other agency?  She also presented a webinar without the web.  Hmm.  Ok.  I clapped afterwards and told her good job, even if it was live and she wasn't on a computer.  She is very serious so my clapping was met with a half smile and a thank you.  As we toured the house, she complimented my decorating skills and when we asked if we could do our own video since I was a video major in college she said, "You just have all the talents, don't you?!"  I said, "Yes, and I can play the piano with my feet!"  As Mike stated, "She totally believed you."  Looks like I may have to save my sarcasm for somebody else.

Going through the blessed form where you check off what drug and alcohol exposure and what mental illness in the family you will accept is such an uncomfortable thing.  We want a healthy baby of course, but microscoping it by which trimester and what type of depression just makes it that more complicated.  I feel like such a bad person not checking off so many boxes!  And there are so many of them!  From cocaine to schizophrenia. I talked to a nurse who gave me some tips on what to pick and we are starting out conservatively.  The agency says "Don't check anything off you would be uncomfortable with but keep in mind if you are too closed you could wait years and it can be a much more difficult process".  OH, ok, then...slap some guilt on the end of it while you are at it, too.  So we are choosing no alcohol or drugs like coke, pills, etc. but maybe some pot here and there.  I am sure that doesn't sound conservative at all to those of you outside of the #adoption crew, but it is.  A lot of birth mothers who place may not know they are #pregnant early on and some just have addictions and/or mental illness which can be one of the reasons they are placing.  Apparently smokin a lil ganja is on the same level as smoking cigarettes while you are pregnant, there are some risks, but such a high percentage of birth mothers smoke that we can not even say no to cigarette smoking because we will evidently deteriorate by the time we adopt.  Mike and I have been watching Mad Men (I know I know, we are a little behind on the times), and look at all those ladies with their prego bellies and smokes!  I think my mom smoked while she was pregnant and look how I turned out!  Hmm, maybe not a good example.

As my standard social worker welcome, I had my Bath and Body Works candle lit, tea on the kettle and my festive candies within arms' reach.  As we were reading the mound of paperwork signing our lives and money away, I poured myself some lovely eggnog tea and offered our SW the same.  She said no thanks so I offered water.  Nope.  Candy? Nope.  Cookies?  Nope.  I am not sure who can say no to peppermint Hershey kisses, so I ate hers too, and 5 other people's that were not present.  BUT, I realized the other social worker didn't accept any drink or candy/snack.  I mean they are in the house for a couple hours and talking the whole time, don't they get parched at least?  I wonder if it is a rule that they can not take drink or food from clients, or they are just not that into drinking liquids or devouring chocolate.  Soooo-rry, I thought those were standards in life. 

Off to fill out 16 pages of stuff I have already filled out, #totallymakessense

Bumpless Baby Mama

**Note my cool hashtag usage that google's blogger suggested I do to attract the best audience. #bradpitt I mean #adoption