The Curveball Has Been Thrown!

The never ending #adoptionprofile book has...well...not ended!  My bestie looked over it this weekend and loved it!  This was huge for me because I value her opinion so much, and she tells it like it is so I KNOW her feelings are true.  Getting her stamp of approval has always given me a big ol smile.  That is what BFF's are for right?!  She is the logical side opposite my emotional side as we grew up together since we were 10!  She combed through it, we are giving it to the hubs bestie to eagle eye and maybe some others if we have time.  It kind of reminds me of trying on a wedding dress.  If you have too many people with you, there are too many opinions and it gets overwhelming, so sticking to 2 or 3 seems like a good plan for us!  Which brings me to the curveball.  Expect the unexpected they say!

I want to preface this with this disclaimer for our friends and family who read this blog :)
Please do not ask details.  I am posting this merely as an update, but please respect our privacy as far as details go.  This blog is used as an account of our journey for us to look back on and to help others in the situation and for people to get a better understanding about adoption and things that can happen.  The odds of this particular 'match' working are very slim and we do not even know the people, so as much as we all want to get excited and of course it would be neat if it worked out, we do not want to get ahead of ourselves, as there are MANY variables in the adoption process.  Many thing that we would not 'match' on, distance, the amount of openness both of us want, etc.  Thanks for your understanding! 

For privacy reasons, I am going to be VERY vague.  But a distant person that by chance was 'brought to us' through someone else, is placing their child up for adoption upon delivery.  It is said they are 100% set on it.  We do not know this person from a can of paint, really, but is this meant to be?  The timing is right considering we have not given our first BIG chunk of change to our agency yet.  That goes alongside our profile book when we turn that in.  I am not getting my hopes up at all because:
1.  We don't know them from a can of paint. (LOVE that saying, just heard it recently!)
2.  Birthmother could obviously change her mind at any time.
3.  We do not know if we are even a 'match' as far as all of those checkboxes you ink in at an agency.  This is a huge question mark.
4.  We would have to go through just an attorney...which is cheaper, but risky and no handholding like at the agency.  If the BM changes her mind, we do not get put back into a pool like with an agency, and most likely lose some cash.  Is that worth saving the insane amount of money you pay an agency and losing a few months of your timeline?  Perhaps.

SO...we have begun talking to this woman just to see if it is even a possibility.  I feel awful jabbing questions at her, but we need answers because we were planning on putting our book in next week, and if this may happen we will have to put a hold on it!  So I feel a tense timeline.  I try to fluff it up and show an empathetic heart in between the interrogations, "Why are you placing?" "When are you due?"  "What is the gender?"  "Did you smoke a doooobie while you were prego?"  "How open of an adoption are you looking for?" You can imagine the weirdness that comes along with having to be the one to ask the questions, rather than the agency being the middle man.  And I feel bad for her, going through all of this and having to play 20 questions.  Feels weird and icky, but God will guide us through it and has a plan.

I was going to keep this private, but this is an honest blog and knowing things can go topsy turvy right when you think you have a plan is important to know.  We are still somewhat in control, and is it a coincidence this comes right before we put in our book and are officially 'in' ?  Time will tell.  Let the emotional roller coaster they call adoption, begin!

Your Nervous Wreck of a Mother, eating Soy Ice Cream, is waiting for you however you come to us!
Bumpless Baby Mama