Adoption Baby Shower Revisited

So my bestie and friends were planning a surprise shower, but nor my bestie or me are good at surprises or secrets, so I am aware a shower is in the making, just not all the details.  I talked about the 'what to do' for an adoption baby shower on a previous post.  Which is better?  Having one before of after the child arrives, and it is a very split opinion (because of course I googled it as I do everything in life).  Some don't want to 'curse' it, or are not sure when it will happen so don't want to plan anything ahead of time.  The other side are planners like me, and people who want to have the same perks belly-bumped mamas have of shopping baby gifts, registering and nesting!  Starting to feel like a mama bird!

Mmm, hungry, anyone?

 I have obviously not had a baby shower before, so don't know the 'rules' per se.  At a bridal shower, if you have only one, you generally DO invite out of town family/friends.  So I figured this was what you do for a baby shower as well.  Then mama bear said baby showers are just for local peeps, so I asked a couple of others and they said they thought that as well.  That just felt weird to me.  Maybe it is an Italian thing, but I remember out of towners at some family showers, and have been invited to NY for quite a few, too.  Is it a NY thing?  Italian thing? 

Either way, I would rather not offend my family or friends and at least give them the option?  The more is always the merrier in my opinion!  Some say people can view it as asking for a gift if they get invited to a shower out of state, because they likely won't come and the mama to be knows that.  I would hope my family and friends know me well enough to know I don't care about gifts, I care about seeing them and celebrating together (again, if you know me well, you know I would celebrate Arbor Day if people would join me!  Any excuse for celebration and laughs!).  If anyone would view me in that way, that would be terribly unfortunate, but I hope nobody would.  I would rather risk judgmental out of towners thinking I am just wanting gifts than not inviting the ones that would love to share in the joy of expecting a new life (whenever that may be!)  We can't always worry about what other people think.  I have learned to do what I feel in my heart and the people that love me will always be on my side and build me up, not look for a reason to judge me or put me down.  I don't want people like that in my life anyway.  I have a big heart that is CHOC fullllla love (and nuts!)  and maybe it has grown even bigger since it is pregnant ;) 

So if you are in the adoption baby shower dilemma, just go with your big ol fat heart, plan it whenever you want and invite whoever you want, and the people who love you, even if they can not make it, will be supportive and not judgemental.  Life is too short to bite our nails over details of having perfect etiquette.  Dear Abby can shove it with all her proper answers (see how classy I am!) In the end, the heart always wins.

See?  The proof is in the pudding...errr...the tic tac toe??

OK, the heart doesnt' AAAALWAYS win, but that is a whole other blog!  Actually, a book.

Playing Tic Tac Toe with myself, waiting for your lil nugget with excitement,
Bumpless Baby Mama