Give me that Apple...ton and send me to JAMAICA MON!

We have booked our trip to Jamaica MON!  OHHH THE excitement!  With a little prayer on the decision (and my friend Becky's voice in my head from many years ago, "You won't regret traveling.  You won't regret memories.), we decided to look at flights and hotel combined and decide.  To our lovely surprise, the flights had gone down since last week to 200 bucks less a person!  I took it as a sign (which I do often, right Manda?) and we clicked that 'book' button and well...high fived.  Cause we are nerds that way.  I feel like I am visiting an old friend, going back to Jamaica!  It was one of my favorite trips, the most relaxing place ever, some delicious ass chicken and home of Appleton Rum!  Who could ask for more?  There is apparently a wedding one day at the pool....most people would think this sucks, I feel we will happen to find a way to befriend the bride and groom and have a story to tell.  If not, we can just go snorkel and eat jerk chicken.  I am good with either.

 #nbd

The kicker!  We have decided to go on hold for the weeks ahead and while we are away.  We can still get matched during this time, just not for emergency placements.  We made the decision together that we would rather be on hold then lose hundreds of dollars that we are already hesitant on spending.  I am super excited for the hubs to get to experience this trip.  That being said, many adoptive parents have said, "If you want to get a baby fast, plan a trip.  They will come right before you get to go."  And if that happens, I am ok with a lil bean shoving off a tropical vaca.  We can all go one fine day if that happens. It'll be great!

We will be staying in a villa like I did with my friends.  This just adds to the experience, as do the mosquito nets!  And there are no roofs on the shower, which somehow just made me feel like I was Eve!  My greedy ass probably woulda taken the apple, too.  Or Appleton.  We will have our own private terrace that overlooks the cliffs down to the gorgeous aqua water.  I remember being afraid last time that I would wander off  the cliffs in my sleep (I have been known to dance, sing, and make myself small meals in my sleep, so it is a real fear!) so I made sure all the doors were bolted, while making my friend sleep on the outside of the bed so she would feel me if I tried to escape.  It would be a way to go, though, wouldn't it?!

The hubs and I haven't had a big 'trip' since our honeymoon, and figured this babymoon/anniversary trip will be a great celebration before our heartbump pops out!  That was a weird image.  Glad that isn't really how adoption works.

 
On that disgusting note, I am going to go celebrate celebration with my gals and some vino!

Don't worry, lil bean, that isn't how it happens!  Sorry mama scared you,
Bumpless Baby Mama

Baby Care Class! Swaddling Like a Pro, Husband's Diapering and I am Taking Your Parking Space!

Though I have tons of experience with children of all ages because I was a camp counselor, worked at a library reading to kiddos, babysat since I was 12 and was a preschool teacher, I still want to be as prepared as I can!  And I figured the hubs could maybe could use some tips and a refresh on changing diapers since he probably hasn't done so for 27 years when his little sister was still in pampers.  So I signed us up for a baby care class at the local hospital.  Which somehow turned into a race.  When I saw that swaddle, I prepped my hands and looked around, who was ready for the swaddle challenge!  It is always fun to race people who have no idea you are racing them.  When she told us to all take a try at swaddling, my lil fingers began folding those triangles tightly around lil fake bean's front, up the side and tucked nicely behind her.  If there was a buzzer like on Jeopardy, I would have hit it.  I looked up and said "DONE!" as if I had run a marathon.  Everyone else was still swaddling away...and giving no shit that I was done before them.  Because this was not a race.  Mike said, "Good job, sweetie!"  And that is why we belong together.  He understands my need for reassurance.  And he likes chicken tacos as much as I do.  The baby looked pretty happy in her lil swaddle cacoon.  I was so excited, I forgot to take a picture of her before I took her arms out as she got older ;)  Of course, I picked the one with the big mouth.  I recognize this pic is sideways.  It is showing up upright but when I upload it it changes and mama ain't got time to figure it out.  She has diaper talk next!

Talking even when she is sleeping, just like her mama!

I have changed probably thousands of diapers.  I am not proud, nor do I look forward to changing more.  It is something, in my mind, you never get used to.  It isn't pretty, it doesn't smell pretty, and even though it will be 'our  baby's' it will still look and smell the same.  Lucky for us, bottle feeding makes it closer to having the properties of adult poop.  But smaller and looser.  Oh dear, I sound like a parent already.  YEP, I have heard you guys talking about your children's poop.  You can't deny it.  I thought I would let the hubs take over the diaper changing, and boy am I glad I did.  He made me laugh so hard that I myself almost needed a diaper.  He changed the baby, wiped all its imaginary doods up and then started playing a weird baby game with the doll as he flipped the feet back and forth going "WEEEE!!!!"  He did not win the diaper changing race, but he won the most fun diaper changer, in my mind.

 

"WEEEEEEE!"

All the prego ladies with their cute lil (ok big) bumps got to put their feet up on stools for the 3 hour class.  Since I was short and tired, I figured I could use one, why not.  I want the perks, too, people!  Give me that 'expecting mother'  parking spot, while you are at it!  I am tired too!  Maybe just from paperwork and big decisions, but I am takin it!  I actually already have.  Evidence below. 

P.S. I didn't really take your spot.  

We were surprised when 2 other couples said they were adopting!  They had the privilege of already being matched (no emergency placements) and their birthmothers are due within the next month.  We exchanged info with them and hopefully made some new friends! 

All in all, I knew most of the information and how to's from the class.  I was apparently the only nerd taking notes.  I figured 3 hours of info, I better write some shiz down!  There was some helpful information regarding umbilical cord safety and taking your installed car seat to the fire station, and other than that, it is never bad to have refreshers! OH and the SIDS section of course was helpful, though I have researched the hell out of that since I am my mother's daughter.  There will be no bumpers, no anything in that crib,  I am sure I will have a fan running and keep that temp at exactly 68!  I will be the one with the heart beat monitor and probably end up after all that, falling asleep with the baby in my bed ;)  OK, I hope not, but even our teacher said it happened to her.  She advised to never say, "Oh we will just lay here ONE minute."  Because that one minute is how fast you fall asleep when you are parenting a newborn.

I am glad we went to the class so I can feel even more prepared.  Mike thought it as helpful as well and since he is SOOOO GOOOD at diapering that baby, I think he should just be the diaper changer permanently ;)

I already have modern hip velcro swaddles, so you will probably never experience my awesome swaddling skills, lil bean! 

Daddy just can't waaaaaaait to change your diaps,
Bumpless Baby Mama

#adoption
#motherhood
#diapers
#swaddling
#babycare
#newborn
#newborncare
#baby

Babymoon and Going on "Hold" for Emergency Placements

OOH Dilemma!

We have decided to take a "babymoon" in July for 4 nights...our last hooooorah! before vacations change forever.  It has been told to me that even when you travel and your kids are not with you, it isn't as relaxing, because now you have a little person/people/bean to worry about and miss while you are gone!  So, one last worry free vacay is in the making!  Sounds delightful, but not without stress!  If we go anywhere that we would not be able to get to an 'emergency placement' (that is when you have to GO NOW and get your baby!) within 24 hours, we have to put a hold on placement until we return.  Basically meaning they will not even show our profile book to birthmothers until we return.  They WILL show them to pregnancy match situations, just not emergency, which is about 42% of placements.

What a double edged sword!  First of all, then you have to be on hold for 5 days, which wouldn't be too bad!  BUT...yep here is the but!  the hotel we are going to says if you cancel within two weeks of your reservation you are charged a BIG ol amount.  Basically you may as well give them your entire reservation dolllas!  So we are left with the decision of putting emergency placements on hold for 3 weeks or risking that if we get called within those two weeks before, we eat the cost.  I emailed my social worker (ME AGAIN!) asking what she advises.  She didn't really advise.  More said , "Personal choice!  Some people don't care about the money lost and some can't afford it."  I feel like we are in the can't afford it section.  On the other hand 3 weeks on hold seems a lot! EEK!  The 'faith' in me says, "Oh, just put it on hold, your meant to be baby will come when they are supposed to!"  And the immediate satisfaction side of me says, "WOAH YOUR BABY COULD COME DURING THAT TIME AND IF YOU'RE GONE YOU MAY WAIT MONTHS AGAIN!"  Notice who is louder.  She dresses in cap-locks.  I will join forces with the hubs tonight and see if his faith or immediate satisfaction person is louder.

Your 'poor' future mama who will be sippin mai tais on the ocean worrying about if she made the right choice putting placements on hold,
Bumpless Baby Mama

Am I Ready for This Kid Life?!

Being in the waiting pool hasn't been as anxiety ridden as I thought!  Sure, it is a lil nerve wracking, but I wouldn't even use the word nerve.  Maybe just unsettling.  You just feel like you are always 'on call', but for me, not really anxious, just feeling like a Dr. minus the whole went to school for 1000 years, minus the 12 hour surgeries, minus the big brains they carry around in their heads.  Mine is tiny, but it is sweet, so it has something going for it!

 Do not judge my artistic abilities!  Paint is quite hard to draw in ;)

I am not going to lie, after chasing my 7 year old nephew around for over an hour with nerf guns, I DID wonder...am I ready for this every day at some point, do I have the energy to be a stay at home mom, too?  Then I remembered I taught a room full of 3 year olds and I survived.  I looked over at the hubs to see how he was hangin...and well...he was hangin, alright! On the side of the couch, eyelids drooping.  I noted to myself that I may end up being the more physical parent and continued shooting at my nephew.  Who cheated btw!  Whoooo shoots you while you reload?!  Definite rematch!  Anyway, I do realize parenting is way different than teaching, HOWEVER, I did somehow gain energy I never knew I had.  I rode tricycles in circles for hours (yep still fit..somewhat!), ran up slides to catch the kiddos and did all of their activities with them.  So I am hoping the same will come with parenting...I will somehow gain the ability to stay awake after a sleepless night or play chase til my toes hurt.  I look forward to it...I am ready for you lil bean!  Am I ready to worry the rest of my life? Am I ready to change 8000 diapers and clean up vomit?  NOPE, but who is?  Hopefully I will also gain a Valium and a nose plug.

 I take it back, I do not want to gain a nose plug.

This past week has been insane, being away in Boston, having my nephew, going to our family's for Easter and today is my Birthday! (Go ahead, you can sing!!)  I have birthday activities all week through Saturday and my dad is coming on Wednesday, so this week is shot for any more baby prepping.  In a way, all these distractions are good, and maybe why I don't have any anxiety while we 'wait', but I feel behind on some stuff we need to do (make sure we know how to put car seat in, hang black out curtains, etc.), but if all goes average, we have plenty of time!  If all does not...we are ready enough!  My mama always said, "Nobody is ever reeeeeally ready for a baby."  So I will just join the rest of the world, either way!  And  will be attending the 'baby care' class next Monday JUST in case! 

Warmin' up my swaddle hands, being glad I do not have a nose plug,
Bumpless Baby Mama

New Baby Niece and New Baby Hospital Visit Etiquette

This is not really adoption related, but wanted to share!  Brace yourselves, this is a long one.  If you read it all I will give you.......the end of the blog post :)

I have so many beautiful little bundles of joy entering my life recently!  And mostly girls!  Is it the year of the girl?  Is pink glitter in the air?!  My sister in law shot her 2nd baby out quickly, all 10 pounds of her!  She has a head full of dark locks and the sweetest face :)  I just love visiting new family or friend's babies hours after they are born, it is just the coolest thing ever to me.  To sit and think about the fact you can be part of the first day on Earth with them and share in that celebration is beyond words exciting.  Well not beyond words, cause I just called it exciting.  I hope we get that opportunity with our child, since we said we would accept up to 2 month old babies, it would be really neat to be there the first day, though!

A little late, but I looked up hospital visiting etiquette adn came across some articles...here is one and my feedback!

Visitor Tip #1: Stay at home if you're sick

 DUH!  This SHOULD be a given.  This unfortunately happened to me when my best friend had her first child.  I had mono at the time (don't even ask) and so when she got home from the hospital I stood outside their glass storm door and stared at lil baby Ava through tears in my eyes.  It wasn't as good as snugglin up with her, but a nice moment.  And one we laugh about. 

 Get your sickly butt back home!

Visitor Tip #2: Know the visiting hours

Ya, those woulda been good to know last night.  Luckily we were within them, but didn't know 9 was the cutoff until they told us.  Maybe we stayed 15 minutes past, but you wouldn't blame us, looking at that precious face! 

Visitor Tip #3: Don't bring children
I hadn't really thought about that one!  I don't have a child to bring, but makes perfect sense.  Don't need lil Brandon unplugging new mama's pain meds or discovering something he shouldn't!

Visitor Tip #4: Don't invite your own 'guests'

I can't imagine this happening, but the fact they say it on multiple articles shows it does.  Awkwwwward!  
 
Visitor Tip #5: Don't bring gifts to the hospital

Really?  Clearly a big fail on my end!   I sometimes bring multiple presents including flowers AND balloons.  I am a gifter!!  I mean not a damn diaper genie, but a lil stufffedy or balloons for sure.  I want feedback on this one!  Anyone against gifts in the hospital?  Anyone against gifts ever? ;)

Whats the prob, Bob?

Visitor Tip #6: Be polite - knock, announce, and don't stare

As much as we love our family and friends, we don't wanna see their naked boobies, either!  Mainly the men.  I have so many friends with kids, I have seen more than my share of the ol ti tas!
 
Visitor Tip #7: Wash thoroughly

My OCD self has no issue with that, I am cleansed at any point in the day.  Thoroughly.  I must have washed my hands 80 times before and after the hospital.  And I hit the elevator keys with my knuckles.  These things work, I am rarely sick!  OK except the whole mono thing?! ;)

Visitor Tip #8: Be positive

If your friend does this, you need new friends.
 
Visitor Tip #9: Don't intrude on medical staff

Last night, at times, was like a chess game trying to let the nurse through.  Of course, I did not want to give lil M up to get blood taken, but I did ;) I sure am in a winky mood today.
 
Visitor Tip #10: Take hints and read between the lines

I think am a good hint taker.  Even if I wasn't, I think since I am so direct, people feel fine being direct with me.  At any point, I hope my friends would say, "Get the hell out"  Maybe without the hell and maybe while bribing me with a pink sprinkled donut.

Visitor Tip #11: Know your place in the hierarchy of visitors

I wasn't sure about all of the tier shiz, but with my BFF (her second baby since the first couldn't be near my death disease), I hopped the hell over there as soon as I got off work.  With family, like last night, I texted my bro in law to tell him to just let me know when we could visit.  Lucky for us he said Anytime!  After best friends and close family, I feel like visiting once people are home may be better.  I kind of feel like leaving the hospital time for family and best friends.  Not sure if that is right, but I'd rather wait then impose or put someone in a weird place. 

Visitor Tip #12: Keep opinions and advice to yourself

In many cases I will state my opinion, this is not one of those times.  First of all, I am not even a mama yet, second, even when I am, every parent is different, will parent differently and every child is different.   Parenting is a very sensitive topic and new mothers and fathers are quite vulnerable.  I agree with keeping your advice to yourself just in case! 

Visitor Tip #13: Don't overstay your welcome

See tip # 10!
 
Visitor Tip #14: Offer help, favors or company before you leave

Breastfeeding causes crazy hunger!  Offering to go get the new mama food (something better than hospital food?) is great idea!  Last night, the men went to get food for my SIL.  All that madness made lil baby M SO HUNGRY upon arrival!  Her hunger = Mama's hunger!

Lil Baby M last night!  Much cuter, though!

About to research the etiquette of the hospital visit with the birthmother so I can prep and post about that one!  Should be interesting.  And by interesting, I mean awkward and full of tension.

Chewing my nails already,
Bumpless Baby Mama

Bonding with Your Adopted Child

Well, if you know me, you know I can bond with a damn ant, so this hasn't been much of a concern for me, but is to many adoptive parents.  "Will I feel like their 'real' parent?"  "When will we bond?"  "What if we never bond??"  Some of these questions are not asked out loud, some are questions friends and family wonder about the adoptive parents, also wondering if they will feel like the child is their 'real' niece, grandchild, etc.  You hear very rare horror stories of people actually sending their child back or putting them into foster/not completing the adoption.  So these are valid questions for people to have.  For me, our baby will be our baby the second our legal risk period ends, and probably before (emotionally), which may be hard to avoid.  I feel it will come quite natural to me, as I tend to bond quickly with anything from new people I meet to donuts.  But here are some steps that you should take to help the bond move along if you are having issues or fear you may.  Secret: The more you think about it, the more you may not bond as quickly.  That is just my guess...it is like when you are in a relationship and insecure, you put out those vibes and everyone knows, those vibes are OOOOGLY vibes to have saturating your aura!



1.  Remember that cute little outfit you picked out for him/her to come home in?  Don't wash it.  You heard/read me right.  Keep that shiz all dirtied up and near him when he is in his napper (I know this may not be a word, but I don't want to say in crib because you shouldn't leave loose clothes near them while they sleep at night, because...we know why.  Danger, danger!).  Babies are very sensitive to smells, so keeping a familiar smell near them can soothe them.  Yes, that includes your smell if you were there from day 1, so snuggle up real close to your little bean as well!

 Hmm, I hope it is THAT smell and not the other.

2.  Speaking of snuggling!  You can not spoil a new baby with too much attention!  Just the act of snuggling is VERY comforting and bonding for a baby (and a bumpless mama).  Skin to skin contact is best, and even if you are bottle feeding, having that contact will intensify bonding, according to some study somewhere that I read at some moment in the last 10 months of my life.

3.  I know you are tired, but when that baby cries, you respond ASAP! Babies are building their trust in the first couple of months and need to know you are ALWAYS there!  Don't try to ever teach babies to 'cry it out' at such an early age, it will not work- the rule of thumb is to respond within 15 seconds!  GO FAST RABBIT GO!

 I don't care if you are tired, RUN!

4.  Take control over that lil bean!  This one may seem over the top, but due to this being an adoption, there are numerous articles that suggest that YOU and your spouse (or just you if you are single) are the sole primary caretakers for the first month.  That means the regular cleaning a la butt, feeding that crazy lil monster when they scream, testing out your newest 'rocking to sleep' tactic and some even suggest that the first month YOU be the only ones giving hugs and kisses.  There is no way that will work in my family, and I don't want it to.  Sorry kiddo, we are Italian!

 We are a loving bunch, us Italians!

5.  Talk to them!  Cooing, goo goo gaing and all that crazy baby shiz happens for a reason.  They love it!  You may look insane, but they like it and it builds a bond between you.  I personally recommend lots of singing, but that is merely because I want our child to be the next American Idol.   Eye contact is very important as well.  Not like non-stop creepy mamabear stare, but it can help the bond.  Do not overstimulate by being too loud or shaky right up in their nugget...but if you do, they will usually let you know :)  Just having a baby near you when you talk to each other can be almost as good, just hearing your voices!  With all of my accents and weird voices I make, our child may think they have 9 moms.  Kinda like me! 

Too Legit to Quit!

6. Ask for help!  A lot of us hate asking for help...including myself.  Unless it is Mike, then I become helpless and can't possibly reach the upper cabinet or lift that heavy trash can! ;)  Joking aside, you may need it!  If you feel you aren't bonding as quickly, it could be from your own exhaustion or depression, even.  So ask family or friends to maybe take a shift if it is convenient once in a while.  And if you are showing signs of consistent depression, see your doctor!  Adoptive parents CAN also get Postpartum depression.  That will be another entry.  Hate to end it on that note, but can't win em all!

Well YOU can, future baby.  You will clearly be a winner.  God, I hope I don't end up on Dance Moms.

Picturing you wiggle around on the stage in that awful wig,
Bumpless Baby Mama

Adoption Baby Shower Revisited

So my bestie and friends were planning a surprise shower, but nor my bestie or me are good at surprises or secrets, so I am aware a shower is in the making, just not all the details.  I talked about the 'what to do' for an adoption baby shower on a previous post.  Which is better?  Having one before of after the child arrives, and it is a very split opinion (because of course I googled it as I do everything in life).  Some don't want to 'curse' it, or are not sure when it will happen so don't want to plan anything ahead of time.  The other side are planners like me, and people who want to have the same perks belly-bumped mamas have of shopping baby gifts, registering and nesting!  Starting to feel like a mama bird!

Mmm, hungry, anyone?

 I have obviously not had a baby shower before, so don't know the 'rules' per se.  At a bridal shower, if you have only one, you generally DO invite out of town family/friends.  So I figured this was what you do for a baby shower as well.  Then mama bear said baby showers are just for local peeps, so I asked a couple of others and they said they thought that as well.  That just felt weird to me.  Maybe it is an Italian thing, but I remember out of towners at some family showers, and have been invited to NY for quite a few, too.  Is it a NY thing?  Italian thing? 

Either way, I would rather not offend my family or friends and at least give them the option?  The more is always the merrier in my opinion!  Some say people can view it as asking for a gift if they get invited to a shower out of state, because they likely won't come and the mama to be knows that.  I would hope my family and friends know me well enough to know I don't care about gifts, I care about seeing them and celebrating together (again, if you know me well, you know I would celebrate Arbor Day if people would join me!  Any excuse for celebration and laughs!).  If anyone would view me in that way, that would be terribly unfortunate, but I hope nobody would.  I would rather risk judgmental out of towners thinking I am just wanting gifts than not inviting the ones that would love to share in the joy of expecting a new life (whenever that may be!)  We can't always worry about what other people think.  I have learned to do what I feel in my heart and the people that love me will always be on my side and build me up, not look for a reason to judge me or put me down.  I don't want people like that in my life anyway.  I have a big heart that is CHOC fullllla love (and nuts!)  and maybe it has grown even bigger since it is pregnant ;) 

So if you are in the adoption baby shower dilemma, just go with your big ol fat heart, plan it whenever you want and invite whoever you want, and the people who love you, even if they can not make it, will be supportive and not judgemental.  Life is too short to bite our nails over details of having perfect etiquette.  Dear Abby can shove it with all her proper answers (see how classy I am!) In the end, the heart always wins.

See?  The proof is in the pudding...errr...the tic tac toe??

OK, the heart doesnt' AAAALWAYS win, but that is a whole other blog!  Actually, a book.

Playing Tic Tac Toe with myself, waiting for your lil nugget with excitement,
Bumpless Baby Mama

And Being the Annoying Adoptive Parent Begins!

I knew I'd be this adoptive parent.  I didn't want to be, but I knew I would.  You read about them.  They are the ones who do the insane research, which is great.  What isn't great is when you are on the other end of them.  The one the social workers talk about at lunch time.  You get everything to them before it is due, and then follow up to make sure they got them.  You scan and email something, and call to make sure they got the documents.  But that isn't the worst part.  The worst part is once the wait starts.  I am going to try my damndest to not be too annoying, but it is hard.  I see how it happens now.  I got an email from our social worker saying since we are officially in the pool, they are now putting our profile up on their birthmother website, which we have access to.  She asked us to sign the release, and we did (2 minutes later) and sent it (3 minutes later).  That was 2 days ago.  I have checked the site 4 times and we are not up yet.  I tried to hold back, I TRIED!  Promised myself I would just look at it in a few days.  OOPS, I checked again today, still not there.  So I emailed her asking if she would mind letting me know when they put our profile up.  So basically, asked her to handle my obsessive behavior for me :)  Now I can finally stop checking!  Because she will send me an email when it is up!  Crap, should I call to make sure she got my email??? ;)

I joke- I joke, but I really do see how the wait can be hell.  And how we will wait for the monthly newsletter to tell us what children were adopted and show us why we weren't picked.  I feel really lucky to have my social worker, she is AMAZING and so responsive and never seems annoyed at any of my questions.  I do wonder where I am on the scale of annoying.  I am quite thorough, I mean this is a LIFE, so yes, I ask many questions and have done extensive research and feel more informed.  I am hoping I am somewhere in the middle of the annoying scale.  I may make up for it by being overly nice and using my high pitch phone voice/ordering food voice/running into someone voice.  Do you have one of those?  It automatically happens when I am on business calls, talking to a waiter or see neighbor Sally at the food market.  YEP, I said food market because it seems to go with the voice I use, like I am in the 1950's with my apron on, being all Pleasantville.  We know my voice is nasal and I mumble,  but not in those situations.  I turn into Pollyanna.  Not because I am fake, it just happens?!  "OH HI Gail, Hope you are having a great week, don't you just LOVE this weather?!  Wondering if I could annoy the shit out of you real quick and make sure you got my documents and let me know when our profile is up and send me a receipt for our book and double check that our baby mama hasn't done any cocaine and wondering what last name the baby gets when they are born and OHH, actually, would you just go ahead bear a child for us? I will make you a treat, thanks!"

"Umm...Hello?"  OK- MAAAAYBE that was a little bit of an exaggeration :)

Trying to contain my questions and rice cripsy giving so they don't put us on the bottom of the list,
Bumpless Baby mama

Organization and DIY for Nursery (and maybe for mama too!)

A bulk of the weekend was spent shopping and house prepping!  We actually had to return the blackout curtains I ordered because SOMEONE (ok fine it was me) didn't take accurately estimate how much extra space we would need on the bottom of the window.  And the curtains were like waffle material which wasn't apparent online!  So we trotted off to Kohl's, returning the IHOP waffle wanna-be panels.  We picked up a nice sage green one for the nursery and unfortunately, the ones we liked for our room, they only had 3 of, and we needed 4, so I had to order online, which always leads to bad things and more purchases. I also ordered curtain rods.  They were 30 bucks each, but were on sale, so that tricked me into thinking they were a good price.  When we later went to Walmart, they were half the price!  So another return will be happening soon at our beloved Kohls!  After our shopping spree, I was energized , while hubs was exhausted!  Strange how that happens ;) 

SO, when we got home, I built this lil beauty!  I decided to put in Dollar Tree bins rather than the fabric bins that people usually put inside, so I could see what is in them (HELLO IN THERE!) and ummm they were one buuuckaroo each!  And cute lil leopard and tiger friends that the hubs got me match quite well!  Love my greens!

After this lil project, I decided it was time to re-purpose some stuff since it was GORGEOUS outside.  No better time to spray paint!  I attacked these dark brown wicker drawers I have had for a year I got for 5 bucks on our online yard sale with some glossy white spray paint.  This is just the first layer, I will update with the finished version later (drawers aren't shown for privacy...they are very shy ;)).  I couldn't just leave myself out of this fun spray painting adventure, so I spruced up my black spice rack with some gold and gold glitter paints to jazz it up into a glorious nail polish rack to go next to my vanity.  Yes, I realize I have too many nail polishes if I need a rack for them, but they make my heart bubble up and I have had some for years.  You CAN fix thick nail polish right up with some acetone! Google that shiz.

 

Hubs and I were trying to figure out which delicious sweet this made us think of.  He was thinking Klondike Bar and I was thinking some sort of cookie.  Whatever it was, we both wanted to eat it, which is weird.  Sidenote, we did not eat it.  I may when I get home, when no one is looking. Maybe adoptive parents crave wood instead of pickles.  How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?  Not as much as bumpless baby mama.  I hope you all know I am kidding, cause I have taken this slightly far.  How do you think it would taste dipped in milk?

 Shoulda done a closeup, the beaming gold glitter in this would make your heart leap if you are as girly (gaudy) as I am.  She is gonna hug those nail polishes right on up!

Hubs said he was kind of worried when I said I was going to paint the drawer set white, and sighed relief when it was done.  Little does he know, we are not done yet!  Cause it's like now I have a new love for spray paint.  Excluding the strong fumes and fact when it gets slightly windy I have to spray and run like Forrest Gump across the backyard.  But, I am scared what may now happen to all of our house items and/or house.  Wonder if hubs would mind if our house is one day a nice glittery pink?  I could settle for gold glitter if he isn't down with pink. But clearly pink would be better. Maybe it is best I am adopting, or my child would come out covered in glitter?  All joking aside,  if you have something you want spray painted, send it my way ;)

Waiting in mounds of glitter and fumes,
Bumpless Baby Mama

Oy Vey! This Wait May be a While!

Our agency sends out these lovely newsletters reporting birthparents who have placed and their 'situations' that include, if they have mental health issues, substance abuse, etc.  It is basically statistics of the matches in the agency.   I have explained before that we had to check off all these boxes to let them know what situations we 'accept'.  WELL, I knew our form was conservative, but out of all of the birthmothers that came back this month, only ONE would have matched us if we were in the pool, and the odds of her picking us seem pretty slim since so many people probably matched with her.  Like, technically even people that are open to cocaine addicts would be matched with a non cocaine addict...nawww mean?!  I wish they were just like, "Oh, Peter and Clara, you are open to cocaine use?  We will just go ahead and wait until one comes through, then, so the people that don't accept cocaine can match with the cokeless mothers."  Totally wouldn't be fair, but it would make our journey shorter ;)

I see how people get all freaked and start being more open to certain things they never thought they would be open to.  I mean, if you are getting a newsletter that says, "Hey LOOK at all of these 30 birthmothers that placed this month!!"  and you match to none or just one of them, after months of that you probably start to think CRAP we better open up our options!  A lil meth never hurt anyone!  A lil oxycotton never hurt anyone either!  Oh wait, yes it did.  We have a couple of things we MAY waver on that we discussed (smookin da gaanjga, dr prescribed drugs in certain trimesters, etc.), if we feel we are waiting forever, but never any of the non-prescribed man-made drugs and no major alcohol drinking through pregnancy.  We do have it marked off as acceptable in the first trimester because you know if I didn't know I was preggo I may be doin shots swingin upside down (I JOKE I JOKE, not upside down!).  On the real, lots of these women do not know they are pregs right away so may be sippin on some vino.  If they were like RAGING drinkers during trimester one, the agency WILL call you to ask if you are ok with it. The convo may go a little something like this: "Hi, we have a match here for you, however she was in college and did binge drink on 4 occasions in her first trimester, is that acceptable to you?  "Sure, as long as it was fireball shots, I want a redhead!." OK OK, I will stop.  In all seriousness, it is all completely nerve wracking and we just have to leave it up to the man upstairs.  Not Santa Clause, God.  If we left it up to Santa, we would get an elf.  But that big guy God has been very good to us and I believe we will have our meant to be baby whenever they decide to come into this world!  But I DO see how this can and will be quite an emotional ride for us!  Hands up, eyes shut!!!  I said, CLOSED guys.

It is gonna drive me to drinkin, thinkin about all these people drinkin!
Bumpless Baby Mama

Officially in the Pool, Organizing and Car Test Driving!

Well we are officially in the pool!  Which makes me PANIC and have severe excitement all at the same time!  I guess it is kind of like looking at a stick with a pink plus sign, only you have no idea when you will deliver, minus the delivering :)  You thought I was a crazy nester before?  Watch out!  At one point on Sunday when I was in high drive organize mode, hubs stared at me and said, "It is going to be ok."  It is weird, in my 'organize' or 'cleaning' mode, I am not really feeling anxious as much as intense focus.  Whenever the smiley, wild Bumpless Mama is anything other than smiley, wild Bumpless Mama, people freak out.  This has happened since I was young.  Like, (yep I started a sentence with Like!), we would be in a study group and I would be focused/reading and someone would chime in, "You ok, you seem sad?"  I mean, should I be laughing and doing cartwheels while I read?  Even at work, if I am just having a tired/quiet day, not dancing and singing all around not doing my job, you'd think I had just wept like a baby on the floor, "Everything ok at home?  The adoption overwhelming?"   Nope, actually, I am just human and tired today!  It happens! ;)

I DO get it though, from the outside looking in, when I am in clean/organize mode, one may think I am having a meltdown of anxiety, but it is just extreme focus which results in me hopping around like the energizer bunny, getting stuff done at top speed. My mom has told me she has never seen anyone clean as fast as me, and when I was young, if she saw my room looking like a tornado had hit, she didn't really worry because she knew I could clean it with the snap of my fingers.  I kind of become the tornado....of cleanliness. 

 

Today after work we are going to hit up the Honda Dealership and test drive the CRV.  I considered the Odyssey but I dunno, me and large vehicles may be dangerous to other cars, old woman and mailboxes.  So I may start of small and graduate to a larger SUV or Minivan when I am groooowwn n sexxxaaay.  That being said, anyone who lives nearby, stay off the streets tonight.  Wild Woman is out and about in a car she is not used to!

Don't be afraid, lil bean, I have a great lil carseat for you!

Bumpless Baby Mama

New Car for New Baby?! Saving Money and Donuts Complete Me!

Just when I thought the to do list was shortening, I have added a big one.  NEW CAR.  I currently have a two door car and well, we know that isn't going to be too fun trying to get the child in and out.  And since I can't sit still, once I am not a sleepless zombie I am sure we will be running around town as much as possible, whether it be play dates or visits to Target's dollaaaaa bin ya'lllll! OK, suuuuriously, after being hit by a drunk driver (big ol Cadillac) in my tiny Honda,  one of my first thoughts after I came out of my lovely concussion was "I will forever buy Hondas!"  And I have stuck to that mantra.  They are sturdy lil guys and last forever if you take care of them.  I currently have a Sporty lil 2 door Civic that I love to death and really don't want to get rid of it, but the time has come.  I need 4 doors and 4 wheel drive.  I am thinking the best way is to sell my baby (not the bumpless one, the silver one!), get the money for that since you get more than trade in and put that as down payment.  I am bummed because I love not having a car payment. #firstworldproblems
 

The purse strings are getting tighter and tighter.  Looks like I may have to SELL some of those purse strings!  Between a new car, the adoption cost itself and being a stay at home mama, I am glad I am a coupon hoarder and sale watcher.  Just yesterday I took a look-see at all of our handsoaps from Bath and Body Works and we are set for a good two years ;)  Between coupons and sales, I barely spent a thing on those delicious wonders!  Who doesn't need Carribean Escape and Dancing Rain foamy wonder to sanitize the ol hands?!  And candles?!  Oh ya, we are going to smell amazing for approximately 4.2 years, and if the power goes out, we are good on both light AND heat!  Try us, hurricanes!  OK, that wasn't really a threat, don't try us.  What else have I hoarded up in prep for knowing we will be crunchin numbers in our budget?  OH, I KNOW!  Thanks, dentist for the 20 samples of toothpaste I snagged.  These choppers are gonna shine like a new car through our next 8 visits!  I am a Target clearance watcher and dollar bin stalker, too, so we are set for bins, glue, tape and batteries.  And if you stalk clearances enough, you can find notebooks for 14 cents.  My child will not have a choice of notebook, but we will save.  Sorry, lil gal or man, if the other kids make fun of you walking around with your 'You Complete Me' Donut/Donut hole notebook, you will be the one laughing when you are in Italy for 2 weeks because mama knew how to save cash!  Or if you really hate it, you can cover it up with that dolllla bin masking tape.  Maybe I am donut biased, I think it is the hottnesss!

Mama is going to teach you to love donuts and sales,
Bumpless Baby Mama

Last Step Before Being in the Pool (not the splashy kind)

I thouuught we were done, but I was informed we had to write up a mini profile to put on the website.  You can also post your video there, which we opted out of.  Don't want our personal business floating around the internet (OH WAIT, TOO LATE, BUMPLESS!).  So, once again, I typed up 150 (or less!) words about who the heck we are.  I will say, after doing an entire profile book, scripting a video and now this, if you ask me to sum up our lives in 3-5 minutes I am on it like white on rice!  What does that even mean?  I mean I get it, like rice is white, but of all things to wanna be stuck to?!  Maybe cause rice is sticky?  As a big bad 13 year old I yelled at someone when they used that phrase, thinking it was racist in some manner, didn't know how but I just KNEW it was!  First of all, it was a white guy, second of all, the phrase is clearly referencing rice.  I digress, as always.

It feels so weird selling ourselves, mentioning in our proflies how we, are 'only an hour away from the city', or about how we live in a 'tight 'hood' and have 'tons of love to give!'  When, in reality, most adoptive parents are picked on random things like "She just looked like a mom" or "They had a cat named Shera and my cats name is Shera!", or hopefully in our case, "I love Simon and Garfunkel!"  HEY, you never know! ;)  So, I sent the text of the profile and tonight we will pick out 5 (or less!)  pictures.  Note all (or less!) parts are in parenthesis because I do not know how to do less than what our 'most' option is.  Whoever said less is more clearly hasn't met me.  I talk 'more', I write 'more', I dress in 'more' colors, I eat 'more' donuts, I sing 'more', but damned if I don't love 'more'.  So take the good with the bad, people!!  And Mike is very good at the 'less' part!  He talks 'less', he fights 'less', he speaks 'lowest' and stresses 'less'.  Lucky for me, somehow he got stuck in the loving 'more' category. We are not perfect, but hopefully we will be just the amount of 'more and less' for some birthmother somewhere out there :)

Talking, stressing and eating more than your future chill, quiet Daddy,
Bumpless Baby Mama

#adoption
#adoptionprofile
#adoptionagency
#baby

New Nursery and Guest Room!

So, as mentioned, we created our nursery this weekend!  I am not going to lie, as much as I hated moving big heavy furniture from the guest room and my 'girly' room, I loved redecorating!  Lucky for me, I tend to stick to neutral colors in my home's color palette (minus the peacock lounge.  YES, you heard me, we have a peacock lounge).  This attraction to beiges and greens works wonders when switching around rooms and decor!  I willlll say the guest room is a tad bit on the girly side, since I am going to keep my vanity and gold accented chotchkies  (Thanks, Pop Pop for giving me a name for all my lil candles and decorations that sprinkle my shelves!).  But overall, it is a sweet guestroom, with drawers and a nice desk for visitors to sit at if need be!  OK, just don't mind the perfumes displayed on the crystal and gold cupcake stand. Good timing, too, because my cousin is coming to visit before he goes on his 7 month hiatus around the US and my papa bear is staying with us for two weeks in April!  Hubs said Dad may like it so much he moves in...then I pointed to all my frilly decor and he took it back. 

The nursery is looking pretty chic!  I got a great deal on a 20 buck dresser that looks fantastic, and am going to change out the knobs because, that is what creative people do, right?!  Nothing can be cookie cutter, God forbid!  As if I don't have enough stress and things to check off, I add changing perfectly good knobs out on the to do list :)  I had this fun pillow I got off of Etsy that was a light green with gold polka dots on it and it just didn't fit in with the guest room, but BOOM, put it onto the glider my sweet friend passed along and it jazzed that nursery up even more.  I have a bucket load of baskets around the house, because gathering like objects in one cozy basket is the thing to do, juts ask Pinterest!  So I switched some out to chocolate brown baskets to keep the color palette lookin fly.  Added some re-purposed green chotchkies again and it is all coming together!  My mom says she is buying us a white crib she saw, so when that arrives we will be pretty much done as far as furniture goes!  Next stop, blackout curtains!  I will be needing some of THOSE myself!

Fearing the sleepless nights, dreaming of the memories made,
Bumpless Baby Mama


#baby
#adoption
#nursery

Adoption Profile Video Madness!

Working for years in front of the camera, I was suprised at how nervous I was to do this profile video!  I guess it is because it is letting someone into your personal life, and also trying to 'sell yourself' as a future parent.  That being said, hubs and I studied our nerdy bullet points (surprised I didn't take out color coded flashcards!) over and over Saturday and Sunday in between moving furniture (nursery is almost done!).  Being sleep deprived the last week, my spaghetti brain was leaking and it was basically like watching a bloopers tape as we sat and practiced.  We finally decided we would make up a cue card with the bullet points to guide us.  Yes, that, my friends, was color coded.

We got to the 'studio' and WOW!  For 400 bucks it was interesting.  We walked into a somewhat shoddy house that was quite messy and I immediately felt my allergy medicine working double time as the cat and dog jumped up on us as we tried to sit on the couch that had a makeshift plywood foundation for the seat.  He did not even have video lights set up?!  Just a floor lamp and table lamp tilted our way.  Were we going to get murdered?  Was this all a set up?  Lucky for us, it was not a murder scene, just a quirky videographer, who was pretty nice, despite his tangents about global warming, and dropped the F bomb a few times, so we know he had my heart.  We definitely got jipped by our agency (apparently he only sees half of the fee), which makes me a little nervous, but what can we really do at this point?  We shot take 1, and it was pretty good, but we felt we could do better.  After take 2, he said my hubs needed to talk more in the video.  I squealed, "I told him to!  He is shy!"  Hubs jumped in, "She is way better at this stuff than me."  Hubs lost the battle and I gave him a few of my lines.  I kept the funny ones ;)  Always so greedy.  Take 3 went off without a hitch.  Other than the lighting making us look like we were telling ghost stories at a camp in 8th grade.

I went off script at one point and said, "We also love to create music together...I sing, he plays guitar.  We think we are Simon and Garfunkel, but, well...I am a girl."  Unfortunately or fortunately, that made it to the final cut he sent us last night.  Not sure how many people want Simon and Garfunkel to raise their child, but we will find out.  and after we will be put into the pool later this week!  Anxiety crawls all over my body like a millionlegger.  That is disgusting. I take it back.  Sometimes descriptive words are too descriptive.  Great, now I am going to have nightmares.

Koo-koo-ka-choo, Mrs. Robinson, Jesus loves you more than you will know.
Bumpless Baby Mama





#adoptionprofile
#adoptionprofilevide
#adoption
#adoptiveparents

The Body Speaks Louder Than Words! Spaghetti Brain Alert!

My body always louder than words to me.  I often am mentally strong when 'big events' happen, but my body will react.  I broke up with a boyfriend about 5 or so years ago, pretty hard one since we had talked marriage, etc., and I dealt with it ok.  I gave myself a time limit of 20 minutes to cry about it (yes I am nutty) and said then I had to pick up and move on.  And I did move on, but my body didn't.  The next day at breakfast, I had oatmeal and could barely swallow it.  I could feel it stuck in my chest and had no idea what as going on.  At lunch I got a sandwich and the pain of it going down was so bad I went to our doc in a box (our company had one on site!).  She took my pulse and said it was racing...she told me to take 4 deep breaths and then she took it again and it was significantly lower.  She said I was one of those people that their body is incredibly in sync with my emotion.  She looked at me and said, "What is going on in your life?"  I was like, "I had a breakup but I'm fine."  She told me I was not fine and this was my body telling me I was not fine.  She said, "Now go home and let it out.  Cry.  Hard.  And do some Yoga."  Hey, beats having to take chill pills!  And she was right.  It went away.  It was stress holding onto whatever it could in my body, this time it was my esophagus.  I have noticed, since then, my body definitely reacts to stress more than I do! 

How is this relevant, you ask?!  We enter the adoption pool next week and I haven't gotten to bed since after 2am twice this week and the other nights I have had nightmares about itchy skin (no it isn't because I have scabies) and woken up every night during the night, which is rare, I am a DEEP sleeper! And I have noticed my teeth clenching and the obvious reaction, spaghetti brain!  I view my brain as a big bowl of spaghetti and when I react to stress, the spaghettis get all twisted up and I can't think straight.  I get overwhelmed.  I am sure this is quite common.  I can't be the only one with swinging noodles of information getting all swirled around in there, just dying for someone to come
 along and straighten them all out!

I have only found a couple of things that help my spaghetti brain.  Writing everything down (planning, timelines, prioritizing to do list) and watching Parenthood while drinking wine.  Can I get an amen?!  That stationary bike that sits over in the corner of my living room so I will see it and use it more has been quite lonely this week.  I don't even look at her, worried if we make eye/handlebar contact, I will feel guilty, and I don't have time to feel guilty right now.  I mean I gave up Coke for Lent, what else do you want from me!  In between Parenthood-ing, catching up with a few friends and passing by the bike with a nice glass of pinot in my hand, I have been nesting.  Due to my planner nature, I have drawn out blueprints of the big switch of the guest room/girly room and nursery.  I think I finally have it all GPSd out and we are gonna move everything around tomorrow!  Something fun to look forward to.  For me, probably not the hubs.  Maybe I will just call him in to move furniture, nobody should have to experience me on my OCD organizing kicks.  I love to decorate/organize...and it will give me some control now that we are entering the trimester of total lack of control! 

I'm sorry, I'd write more, but it is hard to see with all of the noodles in the way,
Bumpless Baby Mama

The Three Trimesters of Adoption (with an agency)

We may not get to watch our lil bean grow into a watermelon, or get swollen feet or bellies to flash to the world that we are expecting, but many people DO talk about adoption in trimesters.  According to our agency's version of it, we are now in our third trimester.  Let's take it from the TOP!  Break down the trimesters for us that have heart bumps and not baby bumps!

First trimester:  This is the trimester that may make you the most nauseous just like in a real pregnancy!  Saddle up and hand over the waste basket!

1.) Research!  I can not tell you enough how much this will effect your future of adoption.  Research the crap out of the process, international vs domestic, laws, state by state adoption, etc.  basically ANYthing there is to know, read extensively about it.  I think I did a pretty good job on this part, but of course wish I had known some things sooner.  We have this lovely world wide web to our benefit, USE IT, and use it A LOT.  Make a big color coded insane spreadsheet like we did, and sweat over it, huff and puff about how much information there is out there, go so insane that people ask you why you are so frazzled, you just learning about it, that is when you know you are researching enough.

2.) Pick an agency!  This can be just for the Home Study or a One Stop Shop Agency that goes from A-Z.  We started with one agency that had great reviews, and learned we didn't love them for placement, so switched to another.  Some stuff you HAVE to learn as you go, but start out with a homestudy agency that has good reviews (ask for references!!)

3.) Apply/be accepted/start paperwork hell!  All the buzz about how insane Home Studies are is true.  It is a lot of tedious paperwork, your eyeballs turn a nice shade of scarlet, you will dig up old dust covered documents, make lengthy personal budgets and prove basically everything from financial stability to mental stability.  Say tata to privacy.  The agency will know every cent you have, and how you spend it, go through your medical records, and damnit...I even had to get shots and blood taken!  And of course they will not leave out your fingerprints.  The windows to your law abiding ability.  They will come stalk your house to make sure you are not a meth house and that you have a home ready for a baby.  For us, this included even LOCKING UP all our cleaners, baby proofing the cabinets, etc. You will possibly scream that you can not do this anymore...but you can!  There is a beautiful baby waiting for you at the end of this journey.  But you can do like we did and take all those cabinet locks when they leave.  I mean the baby isn't even close at this point!  Don't tell them I said that.

Second Trimester:  This takes less time than trimester 1, but still can take a while depending what avenue you take.
1.) At this point you have submitted all of your paperwork glory and either stay with your home study agency if they are a one stop shop or settle on a placement agency.  Hopefully you have been researching agencies during trimester 1 if that is your choice.

2.) Now you have to create your profile book that the birthmother will view.  You can handle this by either making it yourself or there are people and companies that make them for you.  I decided that I was creative enough to make it pleasing to the eye without spending 500 fat ones.  I used MyMemories.com ( digital scrapbook) and downloaded their software for around 30 bucks I think?  Then I only bought the 'free' backgrounds, embellishments, etc.  I will warn you.   This was quite tedious.  I am OCD with colors and such, so maybe I made it more tedious on myself.  Some people use more simple ways, or templates, or like I said, say "Screw this, we will pay someone else to do it."  I did love the software though, it had some really nice stuff and I think it turned out great for only having to pay for the software, paper and I printed it at my work.  That is another note...if you want it sturdy like we did (card stock), be prepared to spend a lot if you have to make more than a few books.  If you are only doing one it isn't a big deal.  We had to do 15, it adds up, which is why I kissed up to my boss and he let me do it from there!  #kissass #itworks

3.) Video time!  If your agency requires it like ours does... you will get some questions to answer and must put a video together to showcase all that pizazz you have that isn't quite clear in a book.  So get that haircut, vaseline those teeth (ok ok you can skip this), and act natural!  We have to use a specific company, but if you don't, have a friend or family member shoot, which will help with the 'natural' aspect of it.  Once you are finished with this, submit and we are into the last trimester!

Third Trimester:  The now-it-is-out-of-your-freakin-control trimester!
1.)  WAIT!  This should be just greeeeeeeat if you are a crazy planner like me (note sarcasm)!  You are waiting, and waiting and waiting.  You will get calls saying someone has picked you, you will celebrate, you will jump up and down!  They may change their  mind.  You will stop jumping up and down, and probably cry.  We are just starting this, but from what I have read, this is a very emotional trimester.  You Must prepare yourself to go on an emotional roller coaster.  You should go into it knowing birthmothers DO sometimes change their minds.  And that will be hard.  Some don't, and I pray for myself and you that you are in a situation that goes as smoothly as it can.  In other cases, you may get an 'emergency' call where the birthmother has had a child and that's it...pack the hell up and head on over (in our case can be to a different state), making sure to have the necessities for a newborn!  Then, what I think will be the hardest part of the trimester is once the birthmother/father has signed the papers, they usually have a bit of time to change their mind, depending on state.  There is no way to prepare for this part.  It will be a nerve wracking time.  I imagine we will be begging for time to fly so we reach whatever timeline that is (14, 30 days), yet at the same time trying to bond and savor our time with our newborn.  I will obviously talk more about this trimester once I have been down the path. But I do imagine it will be an intense time period.  So if I act a fool (those of you who personally know me), I apologize ahead of time.  I am already feeling overwhelmed with knowing I will be becoming a new mom, and this all on top of it is sure to make my brain swirl up like spaghetti. 

2.)  You are matched!  If this is the case, you can start planning more than when you don't know the gender.  That being said, keep in mind things CAN change, so I honestly wouldn't go out buying pink tutus or blue bedding just yet!  Everyone is different, but that's my opinion!  If your agency does NOT do emergency placements, you can start getting baby stuff/nesting once you are matched.  If they do, like ours does, we already started nesting, but you can wait until you are actually in the pool, and then NEST IT UP, because you have no idea, that baby could come tomorrow!  Have a bag ready to go in case you get a call...I will write a list of what to bring in another post! 

3.)  Once the baby is born, there are different things that can happen.  Depending on your agency, they may take the baby into foster care during the legal risk period (when BM can change mind).  Lots of people prefer this so they don't get attached just in case.  We decided to go with an agency that does NOT do foster care, risking that we could get attached, but also feeling like if the match goes through, we have been with our child since day 1.  If you are out of state, there are ICPC rules/laws, so you have to wait a certain period of time until you can leave the state with your child.  Find friends or family that live there or do it on up in a hotel!  Though that does sound insane, they say it is a nice bonding experience, no visitors, just you three for x amount of time.  Not gonna lie, seems weird being in another state in a hotel for the first 10 days of our baby's life, but I am sure we will be ok if it comes to that!  Once you are cleared to go home if you are out of state, you go home with your baby!  Keep in mind, if you are sent home after 10 days but the legal risk period is 30 days, there is a SLIGHT possibility birthmother can change her mind again.  This is rare, but can happen.  Once all papers are signed by BM and BF you are basically home free!

4.)  You will have social workers visit during the next 6 months, checking to make sure all is graaaaaaavy.  Around 6 months you will get the rights to your child, and they will officially be yours!  If you have an open adoption, you will start sending pictures and letters, and go from there!  And it will all be worth it :)  Good luck!!!

I may not have a 3rd trimester belly, but I am sleeping as if I do!
Bumpless Baby Mama

Profile Book Printed, Time for the Big Screen!!

What a relief!!!  We printed our 15 profile books at my work thanks to my awesome boss!  Saving us 300 whoppers less than if we had printed at Kinkos!  Speaking of saving, on our way to print them last night, we stopped at my friend's house to get 2 FREE floor lamps she was getting rid of!  One white for the #nursery and a SUPER gawwgeous gold and crystal one that clearly needs to hibernate in my 'girly' room/guest room.  Such sweet peeps in our lives <3  Anyyyway, we grabbed a couple subs and headed to the ol printer.  Trick was, the pages of the profile books have to be double sided, but our printer will not do double sided on card stock (I tried to just see it for myself and YEP blotchy foreheads and smeared feet!).  So it did take about an hour to print everything.  We basically printed 15 copies of page 1, flipped em and did page 2 on other side, etc., to the 9th page (RIP "Our Wedding Day" page!  You woulda made a great 10th!).  They turned out just as well, if not BETTER quality than Kinko's once we upped the DPI.  When we were done, we did a serious high five like major nerds, but WHATEVER, the joy of the book being almost complete felt like Christmas!  HO-HO freakin HO!  We went home, and put each page into a sheet protector (you can put each book in one, but my OCD needed every sheet covered separately), piled em up and now we just ship them out! Then just ONE more step!  Our life in 3 minutes on a video.

I set up our video appointment for THIS weekend (sooner than I thought they could do it), where we will embarrass ourselves via HD recorded glory! We are given a list of questions to answer, from talking about our occupations to how we met, basically mimicking our #adoptionprofilebook.  These are used for birthmothers who are down to a couple of profile books and can not decide which couple/parent to pick.  But if the pic of hubs and I on a fake lion at the safari didn't pull them in, I doubt a 3 minute video of me doing jazz hands (I mean talking about our lives) will.  I don't get nervous often, we know I am not shy, but for some reason I am nervous about this.  I am nervous about a.) not coming off as natural as we want, I have watched others' and let's just say...awwwwwkward!!! ... 2, I MEAN B.) Looking heinous on camera and c.) breaking out into dance as previously mentioned.  Sometimes, when I don't know what to say, it is just what I do.  So, hubs must head to the hair cuttery, I must make tend to any blemishes (HEY there is no photoshop in video!), and I will picture the video guy naked when I speak.  OH wait, that technique may not work, here.  Who made that idea up anyway?! 

Dancing all the way to the post office, not picturing anyone naked, one step closer to you-
Bumpless Baby mama

Completed Adoption Profile Book!

FINALLY!  The #adoptionprofilebook is complete!  This took quite some time, but I think it turned out pretty gawwwwwgeous!  Minus our 'wedding page' as you may have read :)  I will say this week has been an emotional one for me.  I am not good at change, and I think now that the book is done it is really hitting me what a change is going to come.  Don't get me wrong, I am SO excited and looking forward to baby vomit and changing diapers, and being peed on, but I often get emotional before big changes, probably more than most.  It will always come out in other ways though.  Like when my dad was fightin' the canca, I would cry at the most RANDOM non-emotional things, never at what was actually going on.  And this morning I sat at my desk and cried over something that definitely is NOT cryable!  Like a pregnant woman, but I have no bump in my belly to excuse it.  I just have one in my heart and maybe it is as good as an excuse.  Luckily, I was the only one in the vicinity at the time, nobody needs to see my 'ugly cry face' and mascara running down my cheeks.  It felt damn good, though, I have not had a good cry in a long time.  Besides during my "Parenthood" marathons, but that is different. Weeping at your own life really gets that shiz off your chest.  It's like a cigarette for your soul.

The other night we brought the book to get printed at Kinko's.  We had one printed the other day and it was only 3 bucks.  So doing the math for 15 books it would be under 100 bucks, great!  WELL, not so great when he said it was going to be over 200 bucks.  I was like, "But our one book was 3 bucks!  She did it in the back, too!" he said, "Who is SHE? OH She.  She is NEW.  You were not charged correctly, then."  He was actually quite rude the whole convo, so I was like we are ouuuuuuta here!  flash drive in my sweaty, frustrated hand (can hands be frustrated?), we went to Staples to get paper and went home to try and print it ourselves.  As anticipated, it looked like...it was printed on a home printer.  It just didn't have the same quality, though it wasn't as bad as I imagined.  This is something we need to stand out and be all FABULLLLOUUUS because this is the first thing the birth parents see.  This can make or break you being 'chosen'.  I am going to try to print it at work on our laser printer and see how it comes out, and if it doesn't...back to Snotty Staples, in hopes 'She' is working instead of 'he'. 

I guess what is another 200 dollars at this point?  It is like a pinky toe compared to the upper torso we will be giving.  That was a gross analogy, sorry about that.  I'm gonna go vomit now.  Sure, make it worse, Bumpless.

Waiting for you with smeared mascara and "frustrated hands",
Bumpless Baby Mama

Nobody Wants to See You in Your Pretty Wedding Dress In Your Adoption Profile Book!!

Wellllll gaaaahhhreat!  We got the feedback on our #profilebook!  Our social worker said it was GREAT and they all loved it!  Then there was a pause.  HERE IT COMES!  "But your wedding page.  We recommend not having #wedding pictures in the book."  First of all, I swore it was in their paperwork as an example of what to put in.  I have to check later, but I really do think so.  I told her this, she said she would check, too.  That being said, I get it and don't get it.  She said, "A lot of these birthmothers can not afford wedding dresses and weddings, so it is hard for them to see."  I get that, that is hard.  But at the same time they tell you to basically flaunt your house and neighborhood if it is "nice", talk about all of your travel, and highlight all of the 100000001 things that you love about each other?  Aren't these all things that they may not have either (statistically yes), but want for the parents of their children?  Our wedding day was not about my freaking dress, it was about being with those we loved and making a lifelong commitment.  And that is what those pictures show!  Our families dancing and having fun together!  Don't many of these people want devoted couples and a wonderful family for their child to grow up in? 

I am PMSing so I will have to readdress this when my mini menopause is over.  I feel annoyed!  And the fact she said maybe just take the pictures out and put the wording in other parts of the book.  The wording is about OUR WEDDING DAY, how do I put that in other parts of the book?  She is like the wording is great, but we don't suggest wedding pictures.  Sorry, it was a wedding.  Should I just have a page that talks about our wedding and have pictures of us skiing?  I hate skiing, so no, but you get my drift.  Get it, drift?

Vera Wang Dress, you should be ashamed of yourself for trying to take the spotlight in our book!
Waiting in a potato sack,
 Bumpless Baby Mama