We Are Not Broken.

"Why are you adopting?" I have gotten this question before.  And I usually answer that I have always considered adoption, just something I have thought about doing and then if it is someone I feel like telling (or my blog ;)), I go further into saying I had a procedure that left me in the high risk pregnancy category, so it all worked out nicely.  Today, my answer changed.  Only because of how the woman asked.  It was a woman who used to do my nails. I never did mention I was adopting, so the first question seemed natural out of her mouth, "Hi!!!  When are you going to have a baby?"  I said, "Actually in about a month."  She looked down and I interrupted her confused stare, "We are adopting."  I don't remember the exact order of the next sentences, but something like this...She said, "WHY!? " I said, "Because I am."  She said, "WHY?  Why don't you have your own baby!?"  The way in which she was asking seemed as though she was very confused why anyone would adopt.  She seemed insistent on knowing why I was doing such a thing, and then she said, "You should have your own baby!" So out it came, "Because I don't want my baby to look like me."  I have no idea where it came from, just my sarcasm at its finest, better that than what I would have said 10 years ago to her.  But my friend laughed at my 'christylike' comment, and nail lady continued, "No REALLY?  Is she joking??"  I said, "No, I am adopting."  She asked "Why?" one more time before I pointed to my belly and said, "Because I am broken."  She laughed and pointed at me as we walked away,.  I have no idea what was going on in her mind.  I tried to chalk it up to language barrier.  But I have had long conversations with this women while prettying up my feet for an hour, and she speaks and seems to understand just fine. 

I do not look really at myself as being broken.  But it is way too hard to explain to someone on your way out of a restaurant, that is yelling across the street at you asking why you are adopting and telling you that you should have your own child.  But I will say I am mad at myself.  I am mad at myself for even joking saying I am broken because I know that me and all the women who may not be able to, or are high risk to have children biologically, are far from broken.  God's plans are never broken.  Since I was a child, I have lived by the quote, "What is meant to be will be."  Maybe that is on a more religious level now, but I always have and always will believe that.  I am sorry for saying that even as a joke.  I am going to go back to her when I am there next time and tell her the truth.  "I am adopting because God loves a child so much and us so much that he wants to put us together in this crazy life."

The only thing broken about me is not having you yet,
Bumpless Baby Mama

The Phone is Now My Enemy!

I am glad we were matched late in the pregnancy, because now every time the phone rings and it isn't a number I recognize, my heart literally drops down past my knees!  OK maybe not literally, cause I'd probably not be alive to write this, but MAN, it feels like it!  I now have my agency's number saved in my phone (took long enough), but we may get a call from one of a few social workers' cell phones at any point, which they don't give the numbers out to for obvious reasons.  So now, whenever I see my state's area code, I get a flush of heat over my face, and become half paralyzed, fearing that it is someone on the other end, relaying that the birthparents have changed their mind.  Today was my boss's birthday lunch, and my phone buzzed.  I looked down, saw the area code and didn't want to be rude, so obviously didn't answer, then the rest of the ol lunch bunch's conversation went straight through my left ear out of my right, distracted of what could be waiting on a message for me in that  rectangular circuit of emotions in my purse.  I half smiled through the rest of lunch, scampering off to listen to the message when I got in my car.  I tapped the play button and it was the freakin Subaru dealership.  Ahhhh, relief!  Never so excited to hear from a car salesman!

You are makin my heart beat fast already, lil bean!!
Bumpless Baby Mama

Bye Bye Honda ?!

I never thought this day would come!  I am trading in my Civic for something bigger and more baby/kid-friendly.  I was going to go with the CRV but the overlap safety rating wasn't the best and the small tiny back window wasn't my preference.  SO...I test drove the Subaru Forester, which looks-wise isn't my favorite, but it is amazing with safety and has all sorts of good things going for it (AWD, big ol sunroof, 10 way power seat recliner, great ground clearance)!  I have been researching for a bit now, comparing stats and this keeps coming out the winner winner chicken dinner.  Please speak now if you object! So later this week I am going to take it for 24 hours and zoom around town and see if this is...THE ONE.  And if it is... clearly I have to put this on it:

 

OK, I know I can't really do that, but it IS so me, isn't it lol!  Which says a lot.  That's all I got today.

Sorry by the time you can read this blog, mama probably still swears around your precious ears, but I am sure it is less than it used to be.  Mama is trying her best,

Bumpless Baby Mama

No Jamaica No Cryyyyyy!

After writing up an ol' pro/con list, we have decided to not go to Jamaica Mon, for our Babymoon.

PROS OF GOING:
-Jamaica!
-Relax before we become parents!
-Jamaica!

CONS OF GOING:
-we would be nervous the whole time that birthmama will go into labor (she was a premie herself and I have read signs point to early labor being hereditary).
-Since there are variables like available emergency flights back, connection flights, cab availability, connection flights, etc., it could be VERY high stress, lots of travel time and possibly not getting there by the time we would like to.

 This would be us after getting the call, running to the airport, half neked.  Looks hectic.

-If she did go into early labor (2-2.5 weeks early if it is during our babymoon time), we would have to fly straight into where the hospital is located and have none of our items (carseat, bottles, diapers, all that newborn crap that is in our GO NOW box!)




PROS OF NOT GOING:
-We happen to have an amazing sister that lives near the beach and says we can stay with her instead if we want!

We can still have alllll this, plus more time with our sis!! 

-We will literally be 20 minutes from the hospital if birthmom DOES go into labor and we stay with sis.
-Lower stress level not going out of the country while waiting

CONS OF NOT GOING:
-No Jamaica mon!
-We lose 25 bucks and have to have a credit on the airline for a year (positive: we will be forced to go to Jamaica next Summer!), WAH WAH...think we can suck that one up!


Obviously it is a no brainer...
And bottom line...
WHO CARES ABOUT JAMAICA WHEN IF ALL GOES AS PLANNED WE WILL HAVE A LITTLE BABY BEAN GIRL IN AROUND 5 WEEKS!!!

If all does not go as planned with lil bean baby girl,  you bet your arse we will be replanning that trip ASAP so at least when I am weeping, it will be into the cliffs of Jamaica.  or into this.

Hoping my tears are falling onto you instead of a margarita in a few weeks! 
Bumpless Baby Mama

Baby Girl Nursery !

OK, let's wipe our tears from yesterday's blog.  I got many texts and calls saying I made people weep and that was not my intention! :)  Let's lighten it up a little today!!!

NOOOOOPE, not gettin ahead of myself AT ALL ;)  So I know, this could fall through, so technically I shouldn't be all gender specific just yet.  But I have not purchased any gender specific items for this room besides the adorable knobs that if I have to, I can move to my vanity dresser in my makeup room.  Until then, they are showing themselves off proudly on the 20 dollar Craigslist dresser I got!  Look at them gleam!  I also added some random gold knobs I had for a necklace holder project that I never got done.  I only had 4 and need 2 more so they are on their way for the bottom drawers.  Knobs make a difference, I tell ya!

Extreme Close Up on gold polka dotted preciousness!  Clearance 3 buck items!

I know, I get excited about odd things like drawer pulls, but if you know me, that comes as no surprise.  If it is pink and glittery, it may as well be a trip to Hawaii.  We put together the crib my awesome mama got us this weekend.  It took a couple house due to holes not quite being aligned, but we did it! I am happy with the way it looks, pretty simple.  We wouldn't want to outshine the fancy dresser knobs!

I am not doing a 'monkey theme' but they sure are cute.  My brother passed along a monkey hamper they never used (right side) and if you could touch that monkey blanket, you woulda bought it too!  I wish they came in adult size!  If there was a sage green cloud with a monkey face, this would be it!  That green painting is from when this was a guest room, and will be replaced by some gender specific cute thing that I find on pinterest after adoption is complete ;)

I got this white changing table on our community facebook site for 20 buckaroos!  I jazzed it up with some pink baskets I had (seeee, still not purchasing girl stuff!!) and covered the bottom baskets with an extra crib skirt I got free.  Look at da wiw bunny wabbbit.  I may change that to something with gold polka dots, but I like the idea of it.  The mattress cover was a hand-me-down as was the comfy glider that I am sure I will spend many nights dozing off on!  We have darn good people that are so giving and sweet.  It is cool how this nursery will have parts from different people in our lives, it makes it quite special.  OH, the pillows.  That green pillow has gold polka dots (see a theme here?), got it off Etsy and paired with the pink pillow my friend got me years ago, it brings everything together nicely!  That lamp in the back is gold and crystal, yet another glorious hand-me-down from a friend!  The mirror I got from Kirklands last year, it is green and was on sale for 19 bucks!  Love livin on the cheap!!

So I changed this around a little bit, replacing two of the green bins with pink and will put those 2 green bins elsewhere.  This looked too cluttered for me.  That hanging thing on the right included the fabric drawers, baby velvet hangers and the dividers that you put stickers on each.  They come with stickers with days of the week, types of clothing and sizes (I used the 0-3 months, 3-6 months, etc).  All for 25 bucks on Amazon!  I thought it was a nice price, and a gorgeous sage green!  Can't say no to that! See, non gender specific!  I can throw those pink bins in the basement if lil bean ends up not being the lil bean we think she will be at this point.  I got the cube storage at Target (Circo brand).  People usually use the fabric bins in them, but I like these because THEY WERE A DOLLAR EACH at Dollar Tree!  And you can see through them, so it will make changing a baby that much easier at 2am.  You can't see it, but that white basket MAY or may not have a glittery whimsical finish.  Inside it is books Mike's sister got us to start our nursery library!  One of the books is called, "Born From the Heart" and I can not read it again for a while, because I weep.  It is beautiful.  If you are part of the adoption world, you must purchase it!  Those lil fuzzy friends are mine that Mike has given to me through the years.  I have a collection of about 10, that odds are will make their way into lil bean's possession.  I have a couple plans for wall art once baby gender is definite.  So this is it so far!

Hope you love your nursery, pink knobs or not. I will love you pink knobs or not <3

Bumpless Baby Mama

Birthparent Meeting Update!

I imagine this will be a long blog, so get those eyeballs ready and maybe grab some tea ;)

Yesterday was a very emotional day.  This whole ride is becoming more emotional, but different because it is like having split personalities.  Yet even worse because you are feeling all of the emotions all at once.  Sometimes you go back and forth from fear, excitement, etc. but sometimes it is almost as if you are feeling it all at once and your brain is so overwhelmed with different feelings you almost feel numb.  I came out of the meeting basically 'high' and ten minutes later was staring off like a robot, not even able to describe what I was feeling, and nor could Mike.  It is too much to express.

So...the meeting.  On the way there, my wedding photographer said he would do newborn photo session for a HUGE discount since we are adopting.  I was so excited, I called my mom and she started laughing at me.  I was like "What are you laughing at?!"  She said, "You are just so YOU!  You focus on the weirdest things when big events are happening.  All the little details, like chanigng the knobs on the nursery dresser and photos!"  I thought about it, she WAS right.  I guess it is a distraction from the bigger things :)  They are SUPER cute knobs, though!

We got to the agency, filled out paperwork, handed over our left leg/fat check, and then she said, "They are here!!"  MY heart dropped as I looked up and saw the birthparents.  They looked so young and were absolutely adorable.  They had such high energy it made everything easier, and I felt better being myself/high energy.  The BM was beautiful.  Gorgeous darkish red hair and gleaming bluish green eyes.  Fair skin, but not dull, almost like porcelain.  She was exactly my size,  plus a baby bump!  The BF looked straight out of a surfer magazine, about 5'11, athletic, with light brown hair and pretty blue eyes.  The agency suggests bringing a small gift for BM, so I got her a journal and the BF (can't leave him out!) a table top little football thing and scrabble bookmark (he loves to read).  I passed the gifts over and the BM squealed and opened the pink chevron bag, "OH WOW THANK YOU!"  Her face lit up, but not as much as the BF's when he said the bookmarks, "Oh my God, this is awesome.  AND IT'S scrabble?! I love scrabble!  We play it all the time!"  Score.


And then we started chatting.  They both had such magnetizing personalities.  I didn't expect it to be so 'easy' and not awkward.  They were both a riot, super goofy, and the sadness and negative feelings all sat quietly tucked under the table as we covered them up with getting to know about each other and even joking around!  Clearly we were all distracting ourselves from the hard part.  Which of course did come up, and at this point we were pretty comfortable with each other.  BM started to talk about why they are placing their baby girl up for adoption, and I started getting the ol lump in the throat.  The Social worker slide her a tissue.  Then BM looked up at me and tears were filling up in her sea-green eyes.  I said, "If you go, I go!" (the tears were already in the cannon!) and the social worker slide a tissue over my way, too.  She continued to talk and our tears remained quivering as we both tried to be strong.  Two minutes later we were all back to talking and joking.  There were a couple moments of tear welling, but overall, it was a very positive meeting.  The social worker mentioned multiple times how similar me and BM were, and that was a very cool thing to me.  Quite a compliment.

The BM and BF were just amazing.  Both highly intelligent, in college, but more importantly, such unique awesome personalities.  If all goes as planned, we will be raising one energetic, smart, funny, amazing little girl! 

I promised BM that we would give her child a very fun life, full of unconditional love and be surrounded by tons of family and friends.  I went to go on and she interrupted me and said, "I have no doubt in my mind about that, that is why I picked you."  She told us about how at her Dr appointment, while she was choosing between us and another family, when they asked where the adoptive parents lived, she said our area.  She said her gut decided for her at that moment.

The social worker at this point looked at me and said, "Do you want to tell her what you told me?"  WAY TO PUT ME ON THE SPOT lol!  I said, "The dreams?"  She said, "yea?" So, I did.  I felt comfortable enough with them both.  I said, "OK, well I have had both dreams and 'visions'' my whole life, kind of like predictions, lots of them accurate...OH GREAT now I sound crazy person!" (but they were cooky, so I knew they wouldn't even flinch) "But I have had multiple dreams/visions for the past 7 months that we end up bringing home a baby girl in July.  With reddish hair."  The BM was like, "That is amazing.  Weird thing, I get 'visions', too."   So, we are both pale faced freaks with big mouths and psychic dreams :) 

I was nervous when we left because there was talk that they had planned a baby shower.  That made me think about how they at some point felt they could do it themselves, enough to have a shower.  It had been lingering, so I emailed my social worker my concern.  She emailed me back more specifics of how they came to their final decision and said they were very mature and thoughtful and that these are the types of situations that work out, ones that have been well thought out.  It made me feel better.  Again, whatever happens happens, but of course I am absolutely terrified.  The situation seems so great and like the stars aligned so perfectly, and it would be an 'ideal' situation.  I know that fate is fate and God has a plan...and if bringing baby girl home forever is His plan for us, I sure like his style.

I am sure there are more details Im forgetting, and if you have questions just comment below.  My brain is on extreme overdrive and emotions flowin!  I want to thank all of you who have followed my story and been there, it honestly means more than you know.  Your care for us and our journey makes it more fun and we feel so supported.  The calls, texts and emails are overwhelmingly beautiful.  We are very very lucky people.  So thank you for that.

Taking out another tissue, waiting for you...I just want to hit Fast Forward and have you in my arms,
Bumpless Baby Mama

It's a Girl! And What to Get the Birthmother ?

Disclaimer: The baby is NOT born yet, will be born in the next couple of months...

MAN...it just gets harder and hard to not get excited.  I am doing my best.  But my best was when my social worker sent me an email this morning that said, "Pick out some girl names!"  I shrieked out loud, I  nearly broke the windows.  So my best isn't doin so hot! I am doing a lot of talking to myself in my head these last few days.  "Chill out.  Things can change.  This could fall through.  Think positive but chill the hell out!"   And then my mind drifts to adding pink dashes of color throughout the nursery and picturing if she will have red hair like her mother.  And obviously as a planner, we have had names picked out for months now, for either gender.  I will leave that detail out until everything is finalized, gotta hold back in SOME way ;) 

HEY! Come here, stork...gimme that baby! 

I have even googled dominant vs recessive genes as far as their hair and eye color goes (the birthmother and father are Caucasian)?  I literally have written up equations to figure out the most likely combination.  Trying to find control in a completely we are not in control situation.  IT is a cute combo, btw!  I will save that detail, too.  Can't get ahead of myself.  Too late for that, huh, pink nursery stuff already dancing around in my head??  But when the social worker is telling you to get a name ready, it is encouraging.  Odds are in our favor, but statistics are statistics.  I feel like God does not do statistics!  God has plans for people and trying to figure out likelihood of a failed adoption by numbers something like this is pretty useless.  I will just trust that the big guy has it all laid out for us and in less than 2 months we will know either way.

 That looks about right?!

We are meeting the birthmother and birthfather next week.  The agency encourages you to bring the birthmother a small gift.  NO PRESSURE! lol...I mean, it isn't exactly a happy birthday party here!! What kind of gift do you give someone that is heart broken and this is not a fun time for them?  Since we both write poetry, I thought it'd be nice to write a poem, but that seems to personal for now. Then my friend said if she loves to paint, too, give her some sort of paint supply...artists paint their way through emotions, it'd be perfect!  So I am thinking about that.  Any more ideas welcome! :)

Our meeting will basically be just talking/asking questions and they say you can bring a photo album to show them even more pics of extended family, etc (they have already seen our profile book).  UMM, our photo album is on facebook lol!  We have just one printed album off snapfish of our first year of marriage, etc. that I made for Mike cause we are cheesy lol! 

Wow.  I just realized our birthmother meeting is on our wedding anniversary.  What are the odds?? God's odds, I guess! ;)

Trying REALLY hard to hold back,but it is tough, Lil bean,

Bumpless Baby Mama

We Have Been Picked!!!

HOLY ROLLER COASTER!  The last 48 hours have started our adoption emotional horror!  My jaw is aching and head spinning, but we finally got some news.  Faster than we thought.  I will back up...Monday afternoon I got a message that a birthmother had taken our profile and someone else's home with her to 'stew' and choose and they would let us know by today.  I have been trying to distract myself while at the same time planning cause I am a MANIC PLANNER!

 The Last 48 hours

So today, I went into the chapel (that's right! I know where to find Jesus!) and prayed that the birthmother would find peace and confidence in whatever choice she makes, whether it be us or the other couple, or even deciding to not place the child.  As I sat back at my desk, my phone rang and the familiar number gleamed brighter than ever and I just knew it was the call.  I took the phone and ran down the hall like I was being chased by a bear, far away enough so nobody could hear me (just in case I DIDN'T really know and ended up weeping curled up in a ball in the corner).

 This could have been me, today.  Minus the glasses.  I am one ugly crier!

Our social worker screamed out, "Hey!  I have excellent news!"  She proceeded to tell me that we had been picked and the details of the birthmother and birthfather's situation, due date, and said they wanted to meet us!  OH MY.  This IS an open adoption, may as well start now?!  I want to keep some things private on here for now, so won't disclose some details, but I paced around the chapel with a huge smile, trying to also remember that things can still change, minds can change.  "So, what is the percentage of disappointment (what they call a birthmother changing their mind) at this stage?"  I sounded like the opposite of myself, logical and wanting numbers!  I am a normally emotionally driven person, but with big events I turn 'corperate' as my friends say. She said they don't keep those statistics, only disruptions (BM changing their mind AFTER placement) which is 8-12%.  I called the hubs with the update and we set a time to meet with them next week.  Then I pooped my pants.  Ok, I didn't.  But my heart did beat pretty far out of my chest, though my coworker said I was holding it together quite well.  I mean, this could be it.  If they don't change their minds, this IS it.  How fast this is all happening, yet I want it to speed up! 

I am filled with a flood of emotions from nervous to excited to trying SO hard not to be too excited, knowing they could still change their mind from now until 10 days after the baby is born.  Do you let yourself feel the feelings of excitement or do you push them back to protect yourself?  Whatever my body is doing with those feelings, a lot is going on in there!  My abdomen is burning up and my jaw is still aching with tension!  We don't know the gender yet, the social worker said she'd check to see if she can tell us or the birthmother wants to tell us.  How strange, the birthmother said she picked us because her and I have the exact same hobbies and she felt we were so similar it was scary!  Pretty cool.  She sings and dances, draws, paints and even writes poetry!  I don't know if I know one other person who writes poetry (in my life).  God does amazing things.  Though things can always change, I am excited to see where this ends up. 

Is it you, little bean?  Is it really you?
Bumpless Baby Mama

Waiting in Line Behind Angelina Jolie and Her Gold Crib

The adoption competition continues.  There is a new couple in town on our agency's website partner I talked about in a previous post.  I continue to try to 'get to the top' as often as humanly possible, but I have tough competition.  Looks like a new couple is on the site and the wife is as determined as me to stay on the top.  It is honestly humorous how fast we have become!  I decided to check out their profile.  At first I was like OH WOW, I WANNA LIVE WITH THEM!   I WOULD TOTALLY GIVE THEM MY KID!  First, they are like freakin models.  The husband is all chiseled and Ken-like, and speaks multiple languages.  Hey, whatever, I speak English and remember 8 words in French.  Every pic of him is him on some adventure!  Rock climbing, sky diving, scuba diving in blue waters of some surely magical island!  The list goes on, but I get nauseous thinking about it, so I will move on.  Then, HER!  Oh, her.  Does she go to the salon every day?  It looks that way!  If I looked like her I would probably have a mirror attached to my decollete and stare at myself.  And she is a professional singer, of course.  My dream is her reality!  I bet she sings like an angel and all of the blue birds come sit on her shoulder while she serenades her husband. 

"Sommedayyy my Prince will coooome"  OH, wait, he already did.

They are clearly very well off, with pictures everywhere around the world, and snapshots of their home are like WOAH!  Talk about gold and whimsical!  I am not saying I am not happy with my life, we have an amazing life, home and I appreciate it all.  JUST SAYIN!  They are rollin in it!  Surprised they are not flaking off gold themselves.  As I was clicking through their pics, it comes to their nursery.  OH MY HOLY most glorious nursery I have ever seen. Straight out of a fairytale.  THEY HAVE A GOLD CRIB!  As in where a royal baby belongs.  If I were their lil bean I would never grow up and stay in that thing forever.  I bet it has hidden wheels that transition into teenage-hood as the child does.  Then it becomes it's own little house as the child becomes an adult.  

It was similar to this.  This is 4 thousand big ones.  Do you think I can fit in it?

Then I clicked more and FINALLY!  A fault!  I im'd my bff immediately and said "I FOUND THE FAULT!"  What I thought were 3D butterflies on the wall of the nursery were dragons.  My bff insisted it was still whimsical and nice.  All I could envision was Angelina Jolie's child's bedroom, fully equipped with the vile of blood she used to wear around her neck.  And these dragons.  I bet there are gargoyles in there somewhere too!  Ok, I know...I am reaching.  Right before I clicked out to congratulate myself on finding maybe one notch against our competition, I read the title of their photo album: "After a failed adoption last year, we still have our nursery, so it is all ready for your child!"  My heart sank, and I have not clicked to get to the top again.  After you, dragon lover...

I am waiting for you in line, lil bean, right behind our friend Angelina. 

Bumpless Baby Mama

How to Answer the Question, "Why Are You Adopting?"

Today I had the pleasure of my first 'bad reaction' to adopting.  I was at work and a woman came in, that I have only met once before.  She has a lovely British accent, so that somehow made me feel like I could cut her some slack.

What are the odds I'd find THIS random thing (I AM an old bean!!)

I don't normally mind discussing adoption, or why we are adopting for that matter.  In my case it has never felt like a disappointment, or a last resort.  As I have mentioned, I have considered it since childhood and believe God has a plan for all of us and we can not be disappointed.  And how can any child be a disappointment!  Children are miracles.  So back to the lady with the lovely accent.  She asked what's been going on in my life, anything knew?  I said we are in the pool for adoption.  She cut me off, "WAIT!  you mean, for a child??"  I said yes with a grin and she said a soft..."oh."  I said, yes we are very excited!"  She lowered her voice, "Why do you have to do that?"  I responded, "Well we don't HAVE to do anything, we chose to.  I, myself, have always considered it and to get personal, I had a procedure done that left us with a very high risk of a not so healthy pregnancy, so the natural choice was adoption."  She stared off..."Well isn't there anything you can do?!"  I said, "Yes we are doing it."  She said, "No no, like at least surrogacy??"  Her tone was worse than her words.  Her words were ok coming from someone that knew me better, I felt like it was a little personal for most people.  I myeslf, am pretty blunt and open, so I don't mind answering, but I was thinking, good thing she is asking ME this stuff, and not some of the adoptive parents I have met.  Especially people who have gone through many miscarriages, infertility or can not afford to try anymore.  If I were in their shoes, this could have been a very uncomfortable conversation.  So I ended with the answer to her question "Isn't there anything else you could do?  It just seems so sad you won't have your own children"  with a smile and an honest answer, "Well, he or she WILL be our child.  And we want to adopt.  We are excited to adopt!  There are many children out there that need good homes and we believe we can provide a nice, loving, fun life for a child.  I don't care if they have my eyes, or my husband's smile.  I care that they have a beautiful life."  BOOM, eat that while you drink your tea!

SURE, looking back at our own features would be fun and cute and icing on the cake, but that has never been what creating a life or family is for either of us.

So here are some nice answers for those who are not close to us but want details on why you are adopting:

"Why are you adopting?" : "Because there are many children out there who need good homes and we feel we can provide that for them."  

"But, can you not have children?" : "We are having children." 

"But, biologically?" "We are having children how we choose to have children." or you can point to your heart and say, "They will be coming out RIIIGHT here!"  I have used that one.  I know most people are not odd enough to do so.

Hopefully they would get it at that point.

I know people are curious by nature.  I am, too.  But I have learned through this process, if you do not know someone well, just do not ask this personal of a question.  People will tell you if they want to share with you, trust me.  You know if you are close enough to ask these kinds of questions.  Some people like me may feel fine discussing it, but some may not.  So err on the side of caution.  Lots of people adopt because they have fertility issues, other people just want to give a child a nice life, and some may be a combination like us.  So just assume it is one of those 3 lovely answers.  And hug them and support them and be excited with them!  A baby is a baby wherever they may come from. 

I feel you growing in my heart every day, lil bean!

Bumpless Baby Mama

They Have Created a Monster!

Adoption is not about this!  But I can not help it!  I thank goodness I did not play sports because my competitive nature is out of control.  SO, here it is.  I will lay it out for you.  Our agency has recently started a partnership with another agency website that, for free, posts our profile, too!  Awesome, yes!  The problem is, I noticed that if you edit/update your profile, you go to the top of the page.  So guess what I have been doing way too frequently?  YES, updating our profile!  I want to be first!  LOOK AT US!  SEE US!  GIVE US YOUR BABAAAYYYY!  At first, I actually was changing our pictures, or adding a word here or there, removing a word, anything to edit it.  Then I said, let me try to see what happens if I just hit submit without actually changing anything.  DING DING!  Still puts us at the top of the page.  Score! 

Then the war started.  Apparently I am not the only one who is clued into this little trick.  Me and Some New Yorker have been Updating the hell out of each other all day LOL!  Luckily it is a quiet day at work.  They must be having a quiet day as well.  OR MAYBE THEY DON'T WORK.  ARE THEY GOING TO WIN!?  Right, right, not a race.  Well KINDA is.   I am ready!

Adoption "Go Now" Box and its Contents!

In the 42% chance that we get an 'emergency placement' call, we must be ready to go.  We could go as far as 8 hours away.  We could be staying in a hotel in another state for up to 2 weeks.  Not my ideal image of starting off life with a new baby, but possible reality.  I have started getting together our "GO NOW" box, as I have named it.  Because, well...we will have to "GO NOW!"  As in immediately.  Obviously the car seat is one important one.  That is not pictured.  I will add that once we install it, which we should probably install the base as recommended by other adoptive parents.  Seems weird driving around with it, but do we want to be fudging around/figuring that all out on our way to our destination?  Not so much.  So far this is what I got! (plus onesies and other lil precious baby clothing that are in the wash.)

1. Cleaning Essentials. Bath.  Babies are messy.  This lil treat has a newborn attachment on it, which makes me very excited.  Look at that luxurious pillow lil bean will get to be all snuggled up in as they get a sponge bath.  They got it pretty good, those newbies!

 

The only downside to this is baby will have to bathe with the hot sun on their back.  Get it? harrr har har...

2.  Car essentials: The car ride could be a VERY long one, especially for a lil newby!  I am now full equipped to stalk them as they sleep, poop and suck at the air when they are hungry.  And those window tinter thingies (yes of course that is the official name!) will come in handy on a big trip.  The Baby Care class said not to ever use them because if you get in an accident they can become flying objects and stab your child in its head.  YA, wonder why we are paranoid parents these days.  Let us block the sun from our freakin child, please.  The odds of that happening are less than our baby burning up and screaming for 8 hours. 

 

Right?  Ugh.  Should I return them?! ;)

3.   Pee and Poop Essentials:  I love anything with the word Swaddle on it, so of course I picked up these lil Swaddler Pampers.  Even the baby seems impressed with them, "OOOOOH!"  And check out the cool design on the Baby Wipe Container.  I mean, the Natural Care notation.  I have cream too, forgot to add it in! And what are those pink and green (yes my fav colors!) things with labels?  You know I need my labels, and everything separated in life.  I am surprised I let my food items touch each other on my plate.  Let me introduce you to what will be my new Bag best friend, SugarSnap Dividers!  They can make any bag a diaper bag!  I am going to get a Diaper Bag that doesn't have TOO many dividers, so we can squeeze these cuties in!  Interested?  http://www.amazon.com/sugarSNAP-Customizable-Diaper-Organizer-Pouches/dp/B00EHWFK70

Yes, I spent $30 bucks on them, don't judge.  It is less than we would have to spend on my therapy if everything wasn't in bags and labeled in a pink and green bag.

4. Snuggly Essentials:  There is that Swaddle word again!  Wrap that baby up and hope they sleep more soundly!  You can not see the sheer deliciousness of the fuzzy fabric on the giraffe blanky, but I could walk around draped in that all day.  If it were big enough.  You know I'd do it.  Added in a light blanky, they say to pack different weight blankets since you don't know what the temps will be!  Annnnd obviously we needed a few fashionable burp cloths.  Burping in style sets the child up for a fashion trending making life.  "Daayum, you are nasty, but you do it in STYYYlllle!"

Notice the monkey theme.  This was not planned, but I noticed as I got certain things that I was clearly attracted to monkeys.  Umm.  That sounded weird.

Sleeping Essentials:  I was advised by another adoptive mother to get this Graco Pack n Play Travel Lite.  It has the bassinet attachment and then we can use it when we get back for naps and all that jazz.  I am thinking about also getting a Moses basket (I didn't know what this was either until a few months ago.  It is not Moses' actual basket.  That one is probably pretty wet.  But it is tiny and some people swear by them. 

Got this jam for 30 bucks from online yard sale!  I should probably test it to make sure it works huh?  

Sanity Essentials:  Stop crying and use this, lil bean!   Oh, and since I know I will be the paranoid first time mother that feels a head that is a teeny bit hot and wants to run to the dr., I invested in not one, but TWO thermometers.  Just to be sure.  One of those forehead ones that makes you feel like you are baptizing your child as you take their temp, and one that is WITHIN THEIR NOOKIE!  How cool is that?  Accurate?  Not sure, but that is why I come prepared.

I tend to buy things that say SAFETY on the packing.  Good marketing ploy, Safety Brand.

Feeding Essentials:  No boobs needed here!  No pump...just these lil guys.  I heard that you should have a few brands to see which your baby prefers.  Spoiling the lil bean already!  OH, you think these are the only 3?  Nope.  I am embarrassed to show you the array of "Anti Colic" and "Will make your baby smarter, stronger and faster than any other baby!!!" bottles.

Without lots of extra burping, though, who will use all of those fashionable burp cloths?

I am sure there is more, this is my start.  Any recommendations welcome.  

Waiting to fashionably burp you while I safely bathe you after taking your temperature through all of your orifices then stealing your fuzzy blanky,

Bumpless Baby Mama

Will My Adopted Child Look Like Me?

A weird question, isn't it?!  And if you are adopting an entirely different race, then the odds are less, but still can happen.  Oddly enough, through my ears bleeding while  I spoke to about 63,943,279 adoptive parents in my research for this exciting journey, SO MANY of them that say their adopted child, or in some cases, children look like them?!  Sounds very odd, right?  Or possibly sounds like they are just trying to see themselves in their children?  One woman told me (over the phone, I had not met her), "You would not believe the resemblance, our son is a spitting image of my husband!"  I am thinkin, sure lady.  And I look like J-Lo.  She was one of the first to have told me about an adoptive parent/child resemblance.  Then she went on, "They have the same shade red, curly hair and bright blue eyes!"  OK, now this was getting weird.  Red hair is not the most common feature, and neither is curly.  And blue glowstick eyes?!  My dad had those and I didn't even get those icy blues passed onto me biologically!  But as I talked to more people, I heard more of these stories.  People commenting on what a spittin' image Lil Sally was of her mama, or Lil Billy was of his papa!  Will our future lil bean resemble us?  Seems possible, even if it is a small resemblance. Hopefully they will unbiologically take after the hubs. 

Pretty cool stuff.  But why?  Of course, some facial expressions or mannerisms will be learned, so that can make a general "You look like your bumplessmama!"  But the specific passed on physical features made me think.  Maybe it is just because we tend to be drawn toward familiarities in people, whether it be physical features, a familiar type of voice, or mannerisms.  I was drawn to my bff because she looks like Marilyn Manson, and she me because I look like Brett Michaels.  Don't look too close, you may actually see the resemblance.

OK, stop looking. It was a joke.  Sort of.  Not really. Anyway, I can not tell you how many of my friends are similar in features.  I will be drawn to a friend early on, and then realize months later they remind me of another friend.  I was friends with Sam for months before I realized she had my other friends' eyes and freckles, and ability to drink wine as fast as me!  Two of my friends have a similar inflection in their voices.  It is similar to when my mom used to scream at me when I was being a bad lil bean, so clearly I was drawn to them, frequently asking for hugs.   The adoptive parents I spoke to that said they had child/parent similarities all had something in common in their adoption.  They were picked through a profile book. 

That means a birthmother sifted through multiple books and chose them.  Maybe they had features that reminded them of their own family?  Maybe the bumpless mama's eyes looked familiar, without the birthmom even knowing?!  Maybe she recognized a thin lipped smirk in adoptive papa because her father had the same smile.  And maybe these familiarities are passed onto the child, leading to lool-alikes?! 


Here's to you, future lil Brett.  You will look great in leopard print, too!
Bumpless Baby Mama

Give me that Apple...ton and send me to JAMAICA MON!

We have booked our trip to Jamaica MON!  OHHH THE excitement!  With a little prayer on the decision (and my friend Becky's voice in my head from many years ago, "You won't regret traveling.  You won't regret memories.), we decided to look at flights and hotel combined and decide.  To our lovely surprise, the flights had gone down since last week to 200 bucks less a person!  I took it as a sign (which I do often, right Manda?) and we clicked that 'book' button and well...high fived.  Cause we are nerds that way.  I feel like I am visiting an old friend, going back to Jamaica!  It was one of my favorite trips, the most relaxing place ever, some delicious ass chicken and home of Appleton Rum!  Who could ask for more?  There is apparently a wedding one day at the pool....most people would think this sucks, I feel we will happen to find a way to befriend the bride and groom and have a story to tell.  If not, we can just go snorkel and eat jerk chicken.  I am good with either.

 #nbd

The kicker!  We have decided to go on hold for the weeks ahead and while we are away.  We can still get matched during this time, just not for emergency placements.  We made the decision together that we would rather be on hold then lose hundreds of dollars that we are already hesitant on spending.  I am super excited for the hubs to get to experience this trip.  That being said, many adoptive parents have said, "If you want to get a baby fast, plan a trip.  They will come right before you get to go."  And if that happens, I am ok with a lil bean shoving off a tropical vaca.  We can all go one fine day if that happens. It'll be great!

We will be staying in a villa like I did with my friends.  This just adds to the experience, as do the mosquito nets!  And there are no roofs on the shower, which somehow just made me feel like I was Eve!  My greedy ass probably woulda taken the apple, too.  Or Appleton.  We will have our own private terrace that overlooks the cliffs down to the gorgeous aqua water.  I remember being afraid last time that I would wander off  the cliffs in my sleep (I have been known to dance, sing, and make myself small meals in my sleep, so it is a real fear!) so I made sure all the doors were bolted, while making my friend sleep on the outside of the bed so she would feel me if I tried to escape.  It would be a way to go, though, wouldn't it?!

The hubs and I haven't had a big 'trip' since our honeymoon, and figured this babymoon/anniversary trip will be a great celebration before our heartbump pops out!  That was a weird image.  Glad that isn't really how adoption works.

 
On that disgusting note, I am going to go celebrate celebration with my gals and some vino!

Don't worry, lil bean, that isn't how it happens!  Sorry mama scared you,
Bumpless Baby Mama

Baby Care Class! Swaddling Like a Pro, Husband's Diapering and I am Taking Your Parking Space!

Though I have tons of experience with children of all ages because I was a camp counselor, worked at a library reading to kiddos, babysat since I was 12 and was a preschool teacher, I still want to be as prepared as I can!  And I figured the hubs could maybe could use some tips and a refresh on changing diapers since he probably hasn't done so for 27 years when his little sister was still in pampers.  So I signed us up for a baby care class at the local hospital.  Which somehow turned into a race.  When I saw that swaddle, I prepped my hands and looked around, who was ready for the swaddle challenge!  It is always fun to race people who have no idea you are racing them.  When she told us to all take a try at swaddling, my lil fingers began folding those triangles tightly around lil fake bean's front, up the side and tucked nicely behind her.  If there was a buzzer like on Jeopardy, I would have hit it.  I looked up and said "DONE!" as if I had run a marathon.  Everyone else was still swaddling away...and giving no shit that I was done before them.  Because this was not a race.  Mike said, "Good job, sweetie!"  And that is why we belong together.  He understands my need for reassurance.  And he likes chicken tacos as much as I do.  The baby looked pretty happy in her lil swaddle cacoon.  I was so excited, I forgot to take a picture of her before I took her arms out as she got older ;)  Of course, I picked the one with the big mouth.  I recognize this pic is sideways.  It is showing up upright but when I upload it it changes and mama ain't got time to figure it out.  She has diaper talk next!

Talking even when she is sleeping, just like her mama!

I have changed probably thousands of diapers.  I am not proud, nor do I look forward to changing more.  It is something, in my mind, you never get used to.  It isn't pretty, it doesn't smell pretty, and even though it will be 'our  baby's' it will still look and smell the same.  Lucky for us, bottle feeding makes it closer to having the properties of adult poop.  But smaller and looser.  Oh dear, I sound like a parent already.  YEP, I have heard you guys talking about your children's poop.  You can't deny it.  I thought I would let the hubs take over the diaper changing, and boy am I glad I did.  He made me laugh so hard that I myself almost needed a diaper.  He changed the baby, wiped all its imaginary doods up and then started playing a weird baby game with the doll as he flipped the feet back and forth going "WEEEE!!!!"  He did not win the diaper changing race, but he won the most fun diaper changer, in my mind.

 

"WEEEEEEE!"

All the prego ladies with their cute lil (ok big) bumps got to put their feet up on stools for the 3 hour class.  Since I was short and tired, I figured I could use one, why not.  I want the perks, too, people!  Give me that 'expecting mother'  parking spot, while you are at it!  I am tired too!  Maybe just from paperwork and big decisions, but I am takin it!  I actually already have.  Evidence below. 

P.S. I didn't really take your spot.  

We were surprised when 2 other couples said they were adopting!  They had the privilege of already being matched (no emergency placements) and their birthmothers are due within the next month.  We exchanged info with them and hopefully made some new friends! 

All in all, I knew most of the information and how to's from the class.  I was apparently the only nerd taking notes.  I figured 3 hours of info, I better write some shiz down!  There was some helpful information regarding umbilical cord safety and taking your installed car seat to the fire station, and other than that, it is never bad to have refreshers! OH and the SIDS section of course was helpful, though I have researched the hell out of that since I am my mother's daughter.  There will be no bumpers, no anything in that crib,  I am sure I will have a fan running and keep that temp at exactly 68!  I will be the one with the heart beat monitor and probably end up after all that, falling asleep with the baby in my bed ;)  OK, I hope not, but even our teacher said it happened to her.  She advised to never say, "Oh we will just lay here ONE minute."  Because that one minute is how fast you fall asleep when you are parenting a newborn.

I am glad we went to the class so I can feel even more prepared.  Mike thought it as helpful as well and since he is SOOOO GOOOD at diapering that baby, I think he should just be the diaper changer permanently ;)

I already have modern hip velcro swaddles, so you will probably never experience my awesome swaddling skills, lil bean! 

Daddy just can't waaaaaaait to change your diaps,
Bumpless Baby Mama

#adoption
#motherhood
#diapers
#swaddling
#babycare
#newborn
#newborncare
#baby

Babymoon and Going on "Hold" for Emergency Placements

OOH Dilemma!

We have decided to take a "babymoon" in July for 4 nights...our last hooooorah! before vacations change forever.  It has been told to me that even when you travel and your kids are not with you, it isn't as relaxing, because now you have a little person/people/bean to worry about and miss while you are gone!  So, one last worry free vacay is in the making!  Sounds delightful, but not without stress!  If we go anywhere that we would not be able to get to an 'emergency placement' (that is when you have to GO NOW and get your baby!) within 24 hours, we have to put a hold on placement until we return.  Basically meaning they will not even show our profile book to birthmothers until we return.  They WILL show them to pregnancy match situations, just not emergency, which is about 42% of placements.

What a double edged sword!  First of all, then you have to be on hold for 5 days, which wouldn't be too bad!  BUT...yep here is the but!  the hotel we are going to says if you cancel within two weeks of your reservation you are charged a BIG ol amount.  Basically you may as well give them your entire reservation dolllas!  So we are left with the decision of putting emergency placements on hold for 3 weeks or risking that if we get called within those two weeks before, we eat the cost.  I emailed my social worker (ME AGAIN!) asking what she advises.  She didn't really advise.  More said , "Personal choice!  Some people don't care about the money lost and some can't afford it."  I feel like we are in the can't afford it section.  On the other hand 3 weeks on hold seems a lot! EEK!  The 'faith' in me says, "Oh, just put it on hold, your meant to be baby will come when they are supposed to!"  And the immediate satisfaction side of me says, "WOAH YOUR BABY COULD COME DURING THAT TIME AND IF YOU'RE GONE YOU MAY WAIT MONTHS AGAIN!"  Notice who is louder.  She dresses in cap-locks.  I will join forces with the hubs tonight and see if his faith or immediate satisfaction person is louder.

Your 'poor' future mama who will be sippin mai tais on the ocean worrying about if she made the right choice putting placements on hold,
Bumpless Baby Mama

Am I Ready for This Kid Life?!

Being in the waiting pool hasn't been as anxiety ridden as I thought!  Sure, it is a lil nerve wracking, but I wouldn't even use the word nerve.  Maybe just unsettling.  You just feel like you are always 'on call', but for me, not really anxious, just feeling like a Dr. minus the whole went to school for 1000 years, minus the 12 hour surgeries, minus the big brains they carry around in their heads.  Mine is tiny, but it is sweet, so it has something going for it!

 Do not judge my artistic abilities!  Paint is quite hard to draw in ;)

I am not going to lie, after chasing my 7 year old nephew around for over an hour with nerf guns, I DID wonder...am I ready for this every day at some point, do I have the energy to be a stay at home mom, too?  Then I remembered I taught a room full of 3 year olds and I survived.  I looked over at the hubs to see how he was hangin...and well...he was hangin, alright! On the side of the couch, eyelids drooping.  I noted to myself that I may end up being the more physical parent and continued shooting at my nephew.  Who cheated btw!  Whoooo shoots you while you reload?!  Definite rematch!  Anyway, I do realize parenting is way different than teaching, HOWEVER, I did somehow gain energy I never knew I had.  I rode tricycles in circles for hours (yep still fit..somewhat!), ran up slides to catch the kiddos and did all of their activities with them.  So I am hoping the same will come with parenting...I will somehow gain the ability to stay awake after a sleepless night or play chase til my toes hurt.  I look forward to it...I am ready for you lil bean!  Am I ready to worry the rest of my life? Am I ready to change 8000 diapers and clean up vomit?  NOPE, but who is?  Hopefully I will also gain a Valium and a nose plug.

 I take it back, I do not want to gain a nose plug.

This past week has been insane, being away in Boston, having my nephew, going to our family's for Easter and today is my Birthday! (Go ahead, you can sing!!)  I have birthday activities all week through Saturday and my dad is coming on Wednesday, so this week is shot for any more baby prepping.  In a way, all these distractions are good, and maybe why I don't have any anxiety while we 'wait', but I feel behind on some stuff we need to do (make sure we know how to put car seat in, hang black out curtains, etc.), but if all goes average, we have plenty of time!  If all does not...we are ready enough!  My mama always said, "Nobody is ever reeeeeally ready for a baby."  So I will just join the rest of the world, either way!  And  will be attending the 'baby care' class next Monday JUST in case! 

Warmin' up my swaddle hands, being glad I do not have a nose plug,
Bumpless Baby Mama

New Baby Niece and New Baby Hospital Visit Etiquette

This is not really adoption related, but wanted to share!  Brace yourselves, this is a long one.  If you read it all I will give you.......the end of the blog post :)

I have so many beautiful little bundles of joy entering my life recently!  And mostly girls!  Is it the year of the girl?  Is pink glitter in the air?!  My sister in law shot her 2nd baby out quickly, all 10 pounds of her!  She has a head full of dark locks and the sweetest face :)  I just love visiting new family or friend's babies hours after they are born, it is just the coolest thing ever to me.  To sit and think about the fact you can be part of the first day on Earth with them and share in that celebration is beyond words exciting.  Well not beyond words, cause I just called it exciting.  I hope we get that opportunity with our child, since we said we would accept up to 2 month old babies, it would be really neat to be there the first day, though!

A little late, but I looked up hospital visiting etiquette adn came across some articles...here is one and my feedback!

Visitor Tip #1: Stay at home if you're sick

 DUH!  This SHOULD be a given.  This unfortunately happened to me when my best friend had her first child.  I had mono at the time (don't even ask) and so when she got home from the hospital I stood outside their glass storm door and stared at lil baby Ava through tears in my eyes.  It wasn't as good as snugglin up with her, but a nice moment.  And one we laugh about. 

 Get your sickly butt back home!

Visitor Tip #2: Know the visiting hours

Ya, those woulda been good to know last night.  Luckily we were within them, but didn't know 9 was the cutoff until they told us.  Maybe we stayed 15 minutes past, but you wouldn't blame us, looking at that precious face! 

Visitor Tip #3: Don't bring children
I hadn't really thought about that one!  I don't have a child to bring, but makes perfect sense.  Don't need lil Brandon unplugging new mama's pain meds or discovering something he shouldn't!

Visitor Tip #4: Don't invite your own 'guests'

I can't imagine this happening, but the fact they say it on multiple articles shows it does.  Awkwwwward!  
 
Visitor Tip #5: Don't bring gifts to the hospital

Really?  Clearly a big fail on my end!   I sometimes bring multiple presents including flowers AND balloons.  I am a gifter!!  I mean not a damn diaper genie, but a lil stufffedy or balloons for sure.  I want feedback on this one!  Anyone against gifts in the hospital?  Anyone against gifts ever? ;)

Whats the prob, Bob?

Visitor Tip #6: Be polite - knock, announce, and don't stare

As much as we love our family and friends, we don't wanna see their naked boobies, either!  Mainly the men.  I have so many friends with kids, I have seen more than my share of the ol ti tas!
 
Visitor Tip #7: Wash thoroughly

My OCD self has no issue with that, I am cleansed at any point in the day.  Thoroughly.  I must have washed my hands 80 times before and after the hospital.  And I hit the elevator keys with my knuckles.  These things work, I am rarely sick!  OK except the whole mono thing?! ;)

Visitor Tip #8: Be positive

If your friend does this, you need new friends.
 
Visitor Tip #9: Don't intrude on medical staff

Last night, at times, was like a chess game trying to let the nurse through.  Of course, I did not want to give lil M up to get blood taken, but I did ;) I sure am in a winky mood today.
 
Visitor Tip #10: Take hints and read between the lines

I think am a good hint taker.  Even if I wasn't, I think since I am so direct, people feel fine being direct with me.  At any point, I hope my friends would say, "Get the hell out"  Maybe without the hell and maybe while bribing me with a pink sprinkled donut.

Visitor Tip #11: Know your place in the hierarchy of visitors

I wasn't sure about all of the tier shiz, but with my BFF (her second baby since the first couldn't be near my death disease), I hopped the hell over there as soon as I got off work.  With family, like last night, I texted my bro in law to tell him to just let me know when we could visit.  Lucky for us he said Anytime!  After best friends and close family, I feel like visiting once people are home may be better.  I kind of feel like leaving the hospital time for family and best friends.  Not sure if that is right, but I'd rather wait then impose or put someone in a weird place. 

Visitor Tip #12: Keep opinions and advice to yourself

In many cases I will state my opinion, this is not one of those times.  First of all, I am not even a mama yet, second, even when I am, every parent is different, will parent differently and every child is different.   Parenting is a very sensitive topic and new mothers and fathers are quite vulnerable.  I agree with keeping your advice to yourself just in case! 

Visitor Tip #13: Don't overstay your welcome

See tip # 10!
 
Visitor Tip #14: Offer help, favors or company before you leave

Breastfeeding causes crazy hunger!  Offering to go get the new mama food (something better than hospital food?) is great idea!  Last night, the men went to get food for my SIL.  All that madness made lil baby M SO HUNGRY upon arrival!  Her hunger = Mama's hunger!

Lil Baby M last night!  Much cuter, though!

About to research the etiquette of the hospital visit with the birthmother so I can prep and post about that one!  Should be interesting.  And by interesting, I mean awkward and full of tension.

Chewing my nails already,
Bumpless Baby Mama